BY: DM
Published 5 hours ago
Pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, is no longer a niche tool in the fight against HIV. It’s a symbol of self-empowerment, especially in LGBTQIA+ communities. PrEP is a once-daily pill regimen that helps prevent HIV. When taken as prescribed, it lowers the risk of contracting HIV through sex by about 99%.
With Mistr, you can consult securely online with a licensed physician, complete all required PrEP lab testing from the comfort of your home, and get your meds shipped directly to your door. Whether you have insurance or not, they’ve got you covered. Now, when it comes to discussing your PrEP status with potential sex partners, that’s a different ball game.
Dating can still come with anxiety, especially around disclosure. For folks taking PrEP, the conversation with new partners can also be delicate. Some worry it signals promiscuity. If you’re cautious about disclosing your health status while dating, here are some tips to make the process less stressful.
Changing the stigma around PrEP and dating.
Revealing that you are taking PrEP can be scary. However, being on PrEP is part of a growing movement, especially among LGBTQIA+ folks and Black and brown communities. And while it’s easy to obtain PrEP through online services like Mistr, discussing your use of the medication with potential partners is difficult. The moment you bring it up, some people get curious. Others might get silent. Here’s how some folks are flipping the script when discussing PrEP and dating.
- Keep it confident.
Say it with your chest, but don’t be arrogant. Try something like, “Yeah, I’m on PrEP. It’s part of how I take care of myself.” This approach is simple, clear, and could be very effective. - Educate without over-explaining.
If someone doesn’t get it, cool — break it down. “It’s a prevention pill for HIV. I’m protecting myself and you.” However, be patient and available to answer any questions. Not everyone is aware of PrEP, so leave the door open for discussion. - Spot the stigma.
If someone comes with judgment — “You must be out here like that” — that’s not about you. That’s internalized stigma talking. You don’t owe anyone an apology for protecting your health. However, it is important to try to change that ideology, especially if you’re interested in dating. - Flip the power dynamic.
Remind potential lovers that you’re not the one being reckless. You’re the one making informed choices. This is also a good time to remind your date that you are tested regularly and are going an extra step to keep them both safe. - Explain the process.
Make sure your partner knows what PrEP entails. First, you need an HIV test to confirm you’re negative. Then you start the regimen and follow up with your doctor about every three months for new tests and refills. Under the Affordable Care Act, PrEP must be covered by almost all insurance plans at no extra cost. Point out that taking PrEP means you’re in regular care, and many programs even offer telehealth or mail-in testing options.
Tips for dating while living with HIV.
Now let’s talk about real love and real respect. Plenty of people living with HIV are dating, thriving, and very much worthy of love. However, they still deal with judgment when they disclose their status. Aidsmap cautions that disclosing HIV to a sexual partner is “daunting” and often a source of anxiety. People with HIV are met with rejection and hurtful reactions even when they take precautions.
According to the CDC, over 1.2 million people in the U.S. are living with HIV, and many of them are out here trying to date, love, and build real connections. But stigma still clings to HIV like bad cologne. And for Black and brown folks, queer folks, and trans folks, that stigma cuts even deeper. However, there are steps that people living with HIV can take to minimize these worries.
If you’re living with HIV and trying to date, it helps to be intentional about how you approach the conversation. Start by practicing your words — say them out loud, know your viral status, understand your medication, and bring confidence into the room. Choose your timing carefully; the talk should come before anything physical happens, but it doesn’t have to be date one if you’re not ready. Lead with facts, especially if your viral load is undetectable.
U=U stands for “Undetectable = Untransmittable.” It means that if a person living with HIV is on treatment and has reached an undetectable viral load — which means the amount of HIV in their blood is so low that standard tests can’t find it — they cannot transmit HIV through sex. Explaining this may ease worries from your potential sex partners.
Be prepared for ignorance, but don’t carry it — some people won’t react well, and that’s a reflection of them, not you. Most importantly, protect your peace. If someone disrespects your truth, you have every right to walk away. Now, if you’re on the other side — HIV-negative and dating someone who’s positive — be chill about it. Shut up, listen, and take time to get educated. Navigating PrEP and dating doesn’t have to be challenging.
About Mistr
Mistr is a gay-owned and operated online platform that brings together doctors, pharmacists, and industry minds to provide resources and PrEP to folks in need. Instead of relying on insurance providers to approve the purchase of PrEP, Mistr cuts out the middleman to help people get their prescriptions covered.
Have you ever faced judgment while having the PrEP and dating conversation? How did you respond?
