BY: Jasmine Franklin
Published 3 weeks ago
Lorde has always been candid in her music, but now she is bringing that same honesty to her personal life. The New Zealand-based singer released her fourth studio album, “Virgin,” in the summer of 2025. While the record earned praises, it is her reflections on gender that have drawn the most attention.
Lately, Lorde has used both interviews and her music to discuss identity. She has described herself as “in the middle gender-wise” and admitted that some days she feels more masculine.
Why She Decided to Share
Lorde initially felt ready to share her truth after a discussion with her good friend, Chappell Roan.
“She was like, ‘So, are you nonbinary now?’ And I was like, ‘I’m a woman except for the days when I’m a man,” the singer said in her May interview with Rolling Stone. “I know that’s not a very satisfying answer, but there’s a part of me that is really resistant to boxing it up.”
Now, after “Virgin” arrived, she is expanding on those thoughts and sharing how gender plays into her daily life. During a September interview with Dazed, the singer explained that she can’t wear women’s clothes on certain days.
“Some days, I can’t wear women’s clothes. I’ve had to figure out how to have my make-up done in a way that doesn’t make me feel trapped or tight or like the wrong thing,” she said.
She continued: “It’s all a journey. I have no idea where it’s gonna go; it doesn’t feel like I’ve arrived anywhere permanent at all. I’m sure it’ll keep unfurling, the way these things do. It really took me by surprise how much shame I felt — feeling all that came up wasn’t easy.”
Her reflections reveal how deeply gender influences her everyday choices, from clothing to creative expression. Rather than settling on fixed answers, she treats the process as something that continually evolves.
Defining Her Identity
When discussing Lorde’s gender identity, she described herself as living “in the middle gender-wise” and comfortable with gender fluidity. However, she still considers herself a cisgender woman, and her pronouns haven’t changed.
According to Variety, the singer also mentioned how she spoke with her album’s producer and writer, Jim-E Stack, about the process of gender and its influence on her music. She recalled in 2023 how she went shopping for clothes and tried on a pair of men’s jeans.
“He was like, ‘I want to see the you that’s in this picture represented in the music.’ This was before I had any sense of my gender broadening at all,” Lorde said.
Shortly after, the “Royals” singer stopped taking her birth control.
“I felt like stopping taking my birth control, I had cut some sort of cord between myself and this regulated femininity,” said Lorde. “It sounds crazy, but I felt that all of a sudden, I was off the map of femininity. And I totally believed that that allowed things to open up.”
By linking her evolving sense of identity with her creative process, Lorde found a way to honor both sides of herself: the person she once was and the artist she is becoming. This balance gave her newfound confidence in how she approaches her work, allowing her music to reflect the full range of who she is. It also marked a turning point, showing that her art and personal growth are deeply connected. For Lorde, that connection is what continues to make her music resonate with listeners on a personal level.
Moving Forward as Her True Self
Lorde’s willingness to speak openly about gender shows how her art and her identity move in tandem. “Virgin” captures that fluidity, weaving uncertainty and self-discovery into its sound. She may not have all the answers, but her refusal to be boxed in has become a defining characteristic of her. By letting her evolution play out in real time, both in interviews and in her music, she continues to give fans something more than songs — she offers them permission to evolve too.
