BY: Jasmine Franklin
Published 2 weeks ago
There’s a particular cultural obsession with youth, particularly when it’s tied to who gets to date it. The recent revelation that 56-year-old Shannon Sharpe has been involved with 20-year-old Gabriella Zuniga (reportedly 19 when their relationship began) adds fuel to an age-old fire. The pairing has sparked questions that aren’t new but remain unresolved: When someone significantly older dates a teenager, is it love, lust, or power? At what point does an age gap become a red flag? And why does this continue to be normalized in certain circles?
Emotional Maturity Is Not Just a Buzzword
When people say “age is just a number,” they often ignore everything that number represents — particularly lived experience, brain development, and power dynamics. A 19-year-old is legally an adult, yes, but still navigating an emotionally formative phase of life. They are still figuring out who they are, what they want, and what healthy love looks like. Meanwhile, someone in their 40s or 50s has decades of life and relationship experience. The idea that these two people are emotionally compatible in a serious or casual relationship is disingenuous at best.
Age-gap relationships — especially those with a 20-plus year age gap — raise moral concerns. It’s easy to mistake admiration for compatibility and flattery for consent, but in reality, the imbalance of life experience can blur those lines. One person holds more knowledge, financial power, and social leverage. The other often holds youth and perceived malleability.
Let’s Talk About Casual Sex, Too
View this post on Instagram
Some argue that hooking up with someone significantly younger isn’t as serious as dating them. “It’s just casual,” they say. But sex isn’t void of power, especially when one person is still emotionally developing, and the other has had two decades of adult life.
Older men often pursue casual interactions with younger women, assuming there’s less “baggage,” more submission, and greater admiration. But what they’re really doing is preying on inexperience. Casual sex can still come with emotional confusion, unclear expectations, and unspoken manipulation. Just because there’s no dinner date or anniversary involved doesn’t mean the dynamic is clean.
When a 55-year-old has sex with a 19-year-old, it’s not about connection. It’s about access — access to youth, naivety, and someone who may not yet know how to say no with full confidence. And that’s exploitation.
A Double Standard We Keep Ignoring
What’s more troubling is the cultural double standard surrounding age-gap dating. When older men date significantly younger women, people bash them. But when older women do the same, the reaction gets quieter, sometimes approving.
Celebrity culture reflects this issue. Russell Simmons dated Kimora Lee Simmons when she was just 17, and he was 35. Aoki Lee Simmons, Kimora’s daughter, recently dated 65-year-old Vittorio Assaf. Leonardo DiCaprio notoriously dated Camila Morrone when he was 43 and she was 20. They were all criticized, rightfully so.
But when August Alsina, then in his 20s, had an “entanglement” with Jada Pinkett-Smith, nearly two decades his senior, everyone was quiet. People criticized her for still being married and overlooked her sexual engagement with a young man who was in emotional distress at the time.
Why do we tolerate older women dating much younger men but criticize older men for doing the same? The issue isn’t who’s doing it; it’s why anyone is doing it at all. The emotional inequality doesn’t disappear just because the roles are reversed.
It’s Time to Stop Romanticizing the Imbalance
I’m not saying older people and younger adults can’t ever form genuine connections. But it’s worth asking why if you’re over 40 and interested in someone who just graduated from high school. Is it really love? Or is it about validation, control, or convenience?
There’s nothing rebellious or charming about entering an age-gap relationship that skirts the line between guidance and grooming. Whether casual, sexual, or long-term, the power dynamics are baked in. The fascination with youth can too easily become exploitation dressed as affection.
Relationships with an age gap of over 10 years rarely occur on equal footing. We must stop excusing that imbalance just because the younger person is “technically an adult.“ Until we confront the real reasons behind these choices, we’ll keep mistaking emotional immaturity for chemistry. Love shouldn’t look like power. And dating someone still building their identity doesn’t make for a solid connection.
What are your thoughts on age-gap relationships (casual or long-term)? Share your thoughts below!
