Angelica Ross was honored at the ATX Television Festival for its breakthrough award, the actress and advocate is opening up about her personal life.
via: Page Six
“Pose” star Angelica Ross says she left her fiancé after eight years because she refused to keep her transgender identity quiet to “protect him.”
“He was Italian, handsome and it would have maybe worked had I chosen to be stealth, live in his shadow and protect his image of being a straight male in the world or whatever,” she said during the virtual ATX TV Festival.
The 40-year-old actress did not disclose when the couple dated or broke up, but said that for many people in the trans community, a situation like that can seem as good as it’s going to get.
“Even with the fact that he won’t really take you home to see his family or they honk outside the door and take him to dinner or … threaten your relationship all the time or whatever, this is the best it’s going to get,” she continued. “The audacity that I had to say that I deserve more and to love myself enough to leave that and bet on myself after years of having to figure it out.”
The FX star — who was accepting the festival’s inaugural Breakthrough Award — admitted that the process of learning to love herself was extremely tough.
When she was living stealth, she said she lived in constant fear of being found out as transgender.
“I am very pleased with where my life has gone, how I’ve blossomed into the woman I am now,” she began, “but I wasn’t as secure in myself and my body, in my appearance.
“I was always terrified of being found out and so in my acting classes in college … I was just so nervous. My teachers didn’t know, no one knew because for my safety on campus.”
She also said she was resigned to the fact that she would never be a great actor while hiding her true self.
“I would never get to greatness hiding parts of myself in the sense that as an actor you need to be able to let go into the role and not be worried about what I look like, what I sound like,” she said.
She ended her conversation with actress Sheryl Lee Ralph with a declaration for her future in showbiz.
“I am someone who is just breaking through, I’m just beginning … even though I’m 40 years old, you are seeing me just break the surface.”
You have to know your own worth.