BY: DM
Published 28 seconds ago
The word “comphet” is getting tossed around online. The reason? A conversation about sexuality blew up when pop star Betty Who made comments people read as embodying what comphet describes. The Australian pop singer — who identifies as queer/bisexual and has long been an ally to LGBTQIA+ communities — appeared on a podcast and made shocking comments about other lesbian celebrities that landed poorly.
She suggested, hypothetically, that a singer who currently identifies as a lesbian might one day date a man — a stance that many listeners interpreted as an example of comphet. Here is a breakdown of what the term means and how it’s used by the LGBTQIA+ community.
What is comphet?
Comphet is short for compulsory heterosexuality. It describes how society assumes, enforces, and treats heterosexuality as the default, especially for women. Adrienne Rich introduced the concept in her 1980 essay “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence.” She argued that what people often treat as “natural” sexual preference is actually a social script, not an innate truth.
“My organizing impulse is the belief that it is not enough for feminist thought that specifically lesbian texts exist,” Rich wrote. “Any theory or cultural/political creation that treats lesbian existence as a marginal or less ‘natural’ phenomenon, as mere ‘sexual preference,’ or as the mirror image of either heterosexual or male homosexual relations is profoundly weakened thereby, whatever its other contributions.”
Comphet erases, minimizes, and explains away lesbian identities. It shows up in both small and large moments. Relatives insist someone will “find the right man.” Media coverage frames sometimes a woman’s same-sex relationship as a “phase.”
“Women are taught from a very early age that making men happy is our job. We’re supposed to be pretty for men, we’re supposed to change the way we talk so men will take us more seriously, we’re supposed to want a man’s love more than anything else,” Angeli Luz wrote via Vice.
Betty Who has apologized for her comments.
Who’s comments on Mallorie Glownke’s “Made It Out” podcast left her in the center of a firestorm. During the episode, Who brought up several women in the public eye who previously presented as lesbian and later dated men. “As much as it’s funny that Reneé Rapp is like, ‘You’ll never catch me dating a man.’ It’s like, ‘Go off, queen! I love that for you,’” Who said. “But I also hold space for her in 10 years if she goes, ‘Oops, I met the love of my life and it’s this man, I didn’t mean to.’ It’s like, that’s okay!”
After being dragged by netizens, Who quickly issued an apology for the remarks. “I recognize that the language I used poorly articulated my experience and unintentionally reinforced ideas that were harmful or dismissive, particularly toward the lesbian community,” Who wrote on Instagram via Billboard. “That was never my intention, and I’m truly sorry.”
What do you think about Betty Who’s podcast comments — were they harmful or just a misstep? Comment below!
