A groom asked his best man to give a speech at his wedding — and things didn’t end up quite as he imagined.
via People:
In a Reddit post on the subreddit “Am I an A——?” on Saturday, the groom griped that his friend put little effort and preparation into the speech and instead “winged it terribly.” This, after the best man repeatedly assured the groom that he had everything under control and was happy to write some heartfelt words about the newlyweds.
The groom even offered the best man an out before the wedding, in case he was feeling daunted by the prospect of giving the speech.
“I said if he isn’t comfortable or whatever, I’d ask my other very good friend to give a speech instead. He said no no, he wants to do it,” the groom wrote in his post.
But when the groom checked in on his best man just weeks before the wedding, he had yet to write a single word.
“I thought, it’s okay, there’s still plenty of time, thought a little more enthusiasm would be nice. I just told him not to worry and sent him a few links online with tips on how to write a speech in case he was struggling,” he continued.
By the eve of the wedding, the best man still hadn’t written his speech — and the groom was getting increasingly worried. “At the rehearsal dinner, I asked him how he was feeling about it and he said fine… but he still hadn’t written it. Like, the wedding was the next day,” he explained. “Not even had he not written it, he was planning to ‘wing it.’ Just not write one at all and see what pops into his head.”
That plan alarmed the groom, as he explained in his post that his friend is not someone particularly skilled at public speaking, especially off the cuff. “He isn’t a great conversationalist, story teller, very charismatic. Not even slightly the stereotypical type of person who could get away with this,” the groom wrote.
When the best man’s big moment finally arrived, he completely bombed, according to the groom. “After the lovely ones from the others that were about five minutes long each, he stands up… and says about three sentences. That’s it. It lasted about 30 seconds,” he recalled. “It was just crap. The whole thing was seriously low effort.”
Now, the groom is asking people to weigh in on the situation as he wonders whether he’s justified in feeling annoyed by his friend’s lackluster speech.
“I haven’t said anything to him, but I feel like it’s quite disrespectful to be honest,” he concluded his post.
One commenter shared that they had a similar situation at their own wedding and could therefore empathize with the groom. “We had the same scenario at our wedding with my husband and his best man. The option was always there for him to back out and he insisted on giving a speech,” they wrote.
“He was up there for a total of maybe one minute tops, winging it and trying to crack jokes like he does at his stand-up open-mic nights. It just didn’t hit,” they continued. “My husband deserved a lot more than that. Your feelings are valid.”
Another Redditor, who explained that they are an officiant and have witnessed many weddings, said the best man is in good company. “I have lots of couples who ‘wing it’ with their vows. My hubby’s best man at our wedding didn’t write his speech; he went on and on,” they wrote, choosing to find the humor in it instead of being annoyed. “It was funny, and we still laugh about it 26 years later.”
Many commenters urged the groom to brush it off and move on. “I have been to several weddings where it is clear that the speech givers didn’t prep or that they are really nervous, and as a guest I’ve never really felt that it reflected poorly on the couple or on the day as a whole,” one person wrote. “Try to remember that it was just like one minute of your day as a whole, and focus on the better parts.”
“I feel like these speeches are just crap shoots,” added another. “We can’t expect them to be outstanding. Having expectations is just the foundation for being disappointed. Try to focus on what made you happy about your wedding and let the rest go.”
On the flip side, quite a few Redditors argued that the best man had the right idea in keeping his speech short and sweet. “I would be grateful he was brief. Frequently, people — whether or not they prepare — go on interminably, so the fact that he biffed it but kept it short would still be a win in my eyes,” they pointed out.
Another commenter joked of their own wedding, “BM’s speech was like War and Peace, in that it was like 12 chapters longer than the vows.”
How would you feel if your best man or maid of honor bombed their wedding speech at your ceremony? Would you be upset or take it in stride?
