Paula Deen covers the latest issue of PEOPLE magazine.
In the mag, she recounts her lowest point during her now infamous ‘N-word’ controversy in which she says she ‘struggled to get out of bed.’
“When I woke up each morning, it was like my world was crashing down again,” the celebrity chef, 67, tells PEOPLE exclusively in this week’s cover story.
Her multimillion-dollar empire and image took a nosedive after Deen admitted in a 2013 deposition that she had used the N-word. She’s since lost her Food Network contract and the majority of her endorsement deals.
The fallout didn’t last too long, however. She’s in the process of regaining control of her career and reputation with a new company funded by a $75 million deal with private investment firm Najafi Companies.
“I’m fighting to get my name back,” says Deen.
It hasn’t been an easy process. Deen admits that he’s been going through therapy to help get back to her old self.
‘I have been on a very erratic little journey with a psychologist I respect so much,’ she said. ‘I hang on every word he says. I talk to him over the phone, which is very unsatisfying.’
And when she wasn’t talking to her shrink, she would go online to lap up all the support from her fans.
‘I could not get off the computer except to go to the bathroom and eat,’ the Georgia native admitted. ‘It was so reassuring. If it wasn’t for my fans’ love, I’d be home breathing into a paper bag.’
With this new $75 million dollar deal, we’re bound to see Paula back in the market — despite her racist transgressions. You can read more about it in the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands March 10th.