Method Man Says He Faced Depression, Darkness Early in His Career: ‘I Just Wanted to See Light’

Method Man opened up about navigating a career in hip-hop in the 90s in the latest issue of Men’s Health Magazine.

via People:

Born Clifford Smith, Jr., the rapper and actor reveals to Men’s Health in the new Hip Hop Is Life issue that he was battling depression at the same time as he was performing to throngs of fans.

“It went from this childhood joy to this euphoric feeling of celebrity to feeling inadequate and not good enough. That’s where the depression and stuff came in,” he tells Men’s Health. “And not even knowing that I’ve been depressed since I was a youngster. A lot of PTSD I had never dealt with before started resurfacing.”

He admits that he let outside influences impact his mental state. “I didn’t think it would bother me that much, but it did — people’s opinions,” the 52-year-old Grammy winner says. “In hindsight, you delve deeper into your psyche and see where certain things come from. I just wasn’t a happy person.”

Part of his recovery process, he says, was changing his outlook — and his social circle.

“It reached a point where misery was loving company, and the people around me were just as miserable. So, it kind of fits. Then I got tired of it and did not want to be around miserable people anymore. I just wanted to see light. I wanted everything light. Forget the darkness.”

Method Man says it took looking within himself to move forward. “It had nothing to do with other people. It was just me. What can I control? That’s what I did; I took control after that. I stopped valuing other people’s opinions, and instead of being my biggest critic, I became my biggest fan.”

And that’s what the rapper-turned-actor, who stars on Power Book II: Ghost, and has appeared on The Wire and The Deuce, says is the key to what he calls “just happiness.”

“Self-love; it’s simple as that. Looking yourself in the mirror and honestly saying that you love yourself. But it’s one thing to say and then another to go and do it,” he tells Men’s Health. “Show that you love yourself. That’s all I’ve been doing. What people see now is just happiness.”

And while he takes care of himself physically, it’s for… himself.

“I don’t want to be that guy that, when the clock starts winding down, he’s still trying to be that sexy.”

“I’m not a sex symbol. That’s the whole f—ing point, man. Put the words together. Sex and symbol. What’s the symbol? I’m not doing anything,” says Method Man, who has been married to wife Tamika Smith for more than 20 years.  

“You get to a certain age where you just stop caring, and I think that’s the sexiest thing in the world right there.

That was a time before everyone started talking taking mental health seriously, so we’re glad Method Man had the fortitude to keep going.

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