Nicole Scherzinger opens up in the latest issue of Cosmopolitan UK about her past struggles with an eating disorder.
She first admitted struggling with Bulimia back in 2012, saying that during the hight of her Pussycat Doll fame is when she hurt herself the most.
‘I guess it was like my addiction. I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction.
‘It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.’
Now, in 2014 she says that she’s put it all behind her but it’s still difficult for her to talk about.
“It still is hard, and thinking about it I try not to well up,” she said. “It is such a horrible paralysing disease and it was such a dark time for me. That’s why I can empathise so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves. It robs you of living your life.
“But you can recover and you can get rid of it forever,” she added. “I did it and that’s why it’s so important for me to share my story. I felt so alone… but I made myself so alone. You hide it from the world, you isolate yourself. But you can beat it – do not give up because you’re so special and you’re meant for such great things.”
Nicole goes on to explain how, even though it looked to the outside world as though she had everything together, the eating disorder got so bad she started losing her voice and was found on more than one occasion passed out on the floor by her manager.
“I had started losing my voice, I couldn’t sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France, I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I don’t love myself.’ One day when you feel like you’ve reached the end, you just say, ‘I’m not doing this anymore.’ It’s sad to see how I wasted my life. I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world but I was miserable on the inside. I’m never letting that happen again; you only get one life – I was 27 only once.”
Kudos to Nicole for continuing to share her story. You can read more in the latest issue of Cosmopolitan UK.