A bride-to-be has gone viral on TikTok for sharing a letter she sent to her bridesmaids detailing “mandatory” wedding commitments — including an expensive trip.
Lisa Torres, 29, wrote the letter so that the financial expectations of being a bridesmaid would be transparent to her bridal party.
In the letter, which she previously shared with Insider, Torres said one of the mandatory commitments would be the bachelorette trip, which she hoped would be at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico and expected to cost around $500 per person.
Torres told Insider she’s received criticism online for asking her bridesmaids to pay for the trip.
“I did want the bachelorette, which got a lot of criticism online, because I didn’t put it into context,” Torres said. “My friends and I travel every year, so it wouldn’t have been a huge ask of them, but I can see why it would have been interpreted that way.”
Torres said that while she’s experienced internet trolling, she tries not to let it get to her.
“You have to take a step back,” she said. “I learned the actual definition of a troll, because I never knew what that meant. I assumed it was people making rude comments, but I think what it means is people creating accounts to leave negative comments, which unfortunately is pretty universal.”
She added: “I think the biggest thing is to focus more on the people who are positive. I would just prefer to not use energy on negative people.”
Torres and her fiancé, Alex, met while they were in college but didn’t start dating until a couple of years later.
They got engaged during a trip to San Francisco in April this year after almost four years of dating.
Torres said that she and Alex are planning to pay for the wedding without any contributions from family members, as they don’t want to experience the “strings attached” that comes with it.
However, Torres is asking her bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. She said she wants to help them save money by not dictating the style of dress and by encouraging them to buy something second-hand.
“Once I nail down the color, I want them to be able to buy second-hand dresses,” Torres said. “I think that would help with the cost. My fiancé has been a groomsman a few times, and he seems to always spend at least $200 on renting a suit, something he’ll wear for 12 hours and never own. I think it’s possible to buy a nice suit for $100 and rewear it.”
She added: “I know my friends’ financial situations, so I know what I asked of them wasn’t unreasonable, but one thing I wish I had considered is that people’s situations change.”
Torres said she wishes she had added an extra bullet in the letter, one that said: “If they don’t think they can make the commitments or if their situation changes but they still want to be a bridesmaid, let me know because I am willing to help them with the cost, of course.”
Do you think she’s out of pocket for her demands?
@lisalovesrandom#duet with @unico2087 Since y’all have been asking about the #bacheloretteparty ? #weddingtiktok #moh #bridesmaids #FordMaverick #weddingparty #bride