A bride is seeking advice after disinviting her best friend from her wedding because the woman made multiple comments about how she dated the groom first.
via People:
In a post on Reddit’s popular subreddit “Am I an A——?”, the 26-year-old bride said her best friend, Izzy was “practically raised” alongside her, though the two drifted apart in recent years.
“She has been there for me a lot and I have too so it’s tough, this situation,” the bride wrote.
The anonymous bride went on to explain that a few years ago Izzy went on a few dates with her now-fiancé Jake. Ultimately, the romance fizzled out when she told him she wasn’t interested in anything serious.
“Even though I was her best friend, I didn’t really know Jake because she used to get asked out a lot, but only a few turned serious,” the bride explained. “So I knew about her boyfriends, but not necessarily her dates,” the bride writes.
A year later, the bride met and began dating Jake.
“We quickly became good friends,” the bride shared. “I used to talk about him to Izzy a lot, but it’s when I showed her his picture that she recognized him and told me about her dates with him. Friendships were more important to me that any guy back then so I asked her if it was okay to date him because I liked him a lot. She said she had no problem and joked about it ever turning into a relationship, which I took as a joke.”
By the time the bride and Jake became serious and moved in together, she and Izzy had “lost touch a bit” — though she never sensed any animosity with her life-long friend, until Jake popped the question.
“After I got engaged, she became very weird. She was very shocked, and would not believe it. Then later she used to tell me I’m too young to be married and if I’m sure, but I saw this as just concern,” the bride said.
Still, she asked Izzy to be her maid of honor, along with her sister.
But things took a turn when the bride began posting engagement photos on Instagram. While other friends offered messages of congratulation, Izzy commented: “you better mention me in your vows because he was into me first, haha”.
“Jake felt very uncomfortable, and so did I, but I defended her saying that, it’s just Izzy, she jokes around a lot,” the bride wrote in the Reddit post.
But the snarky comments continued – even in person, when Jake and the bride hosted a post-Christmas dinner party with friends.
“That day, Izzy just kept telling all the friends and family gathered that Jake dated her first, she let me have him, stuff like that,” the bride went on to explain. “Even after telling her it was not okay, she joked around.”
When the bride told Izzy she had taken the jokes too too far, Izzy said she was overreacting. The bride then told her not to attend the wedding at all.
“I have been overthinking a lot after that,” the bride shared, adding that those close to them are now “choosing sides based on who they know more.”
“I’m worried I’m ruining a lifelong friendship when I’m not even right. What if to her it really was just a joke and I’m not being understanding. But she is not being supportive or positive, which I think is unfair. I’m confused,” the bride said.
Many commenters on the post agreed with the bride, with one writing: “If I make a joke that doesn’t land, or if someone tells me it makes them uncomfortable… the first thing I do is apologize. “
Another responded, “I think she put you in a super tough position. You asked her to stop and she wouldn’t, and so she kind of forced your hand.”
Another commenter took a stronger stance, writing, “Kick her out and leave her out for good. She is jealous and insecure. She sees what you have and either wishes she had stayed with him, or wishes she found someone too. It’s disgusting the way she’s making your special day all about her.”
What would you do? The friend sounds like a bit of a hater to us.
