Ask B. Scott: ‘I’m Lusting After Other Men’

Dear B. Scott,

I’m a 35 year old woman and I’ve been married to my husband faithfully for almost 15 years. Lately, I’ve been having the insatiable urge to sleep with another man.

I love my husband very much and I have no desire to cheat on my man or to have a relationship outside of the one that I’m committed to. It’s just that I wonder what else is could be missing?

My husband and I have great sex and I’m always satisfied…but I still find myself thinking about what sex with another man would be like.

Part of me wants to do it and get it out of my system, the other part of me terrified that I might discover something about myself that I don’t want to know.

What do you think? Should I try it out?

Dear Love Muffin,

15 years of successful marriage isn’t an easy task, so for that I applaud you.

When you chose to marry your husband, you exchanged vows and established a commitment with each other to be faithful, open, and honest.

However, as committed as you may be to your husband, you’re human and you’re going to have sexual desires.

Out of respect for your husband and your marriage, you really only have two options.

The first option is to keep your desires to yourself and remember that you’re a married woman.

The second option is a little bit riskier, but you could also talk to your husband and explore the sexual dynamic of your marriage. It’s not uncommon for couples to spice things up in the bedroom with help from a third party or other couples.

You never know, your husband could be dealing with similar urges himself. I went through a period in one of my previous relationships where I was having thoughts akin to yours, but I chose to figure out ways I could make sex with my partner feel new.

And that doesn’t always have to involve someone else. Sometimes, you just have to get creative.

For example, go on a date and choose a hotel for the night instead of going home; or get intimate in a place outside of the bedroom. You could even meet each other at home during your lunch breaks for a little mid-day lovin’ –the possibilities are endless!

Don’t be afraid to get a little freaky with your husband. I would encourage you to give him the chance to step up before you step out.

Love,

B. Scott

Submit your questions now: Email askbscott@lovebscott.com and be sure to tweet me @lovebscott with the hashtag #AskBScott