“Deputies laughed, and laughed, and laughed.”
Florida police snagged a man wanted for meth trafficking when he turned up to retrieve his lost wallet.
Polk Country Sheriff’s Office had a great laugh describing the “story that just explodes with excellence (Not the Mr. Burns from The Simpsons kind of excellence, but more like the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure kind of excellence)” in a Facebook post on Sunday.
They described how a good citizen — “nay, a very good citizen” — stopped by the sheriff’s station to hand in a wallet they had found with more than $500 inside.
Inside, police found a drivers license belonging to a Sean, who as it turned out had an arrest warrant for trafficking in methamphetamine.
Officers then texted Sean to let him know they had his wallet, but: “We may have forgot to mention we were deputies though. Silly us.”
Sean, they said, texted back to say he would meet them in 15-20 minutes; the Good Samaritans would be able to recognize him because he would be riding a motorcycle.
“Deputies laughed, and laughed, and laughed. They had Sean’s license and knew he wasn’t licensed to drive a motorcycle.”
When he arrived, he was promptly arrested and searched: officers found $3,000 in his pocket (“obviously because he didn’t have a wallet”), a bundle of clear baggies, and a trafficking amount of meth.
“Who woulda thunk a guy with a trafficking in Meth warrant would show up with a trafficking amount of Meth?” the post mocked.
Sean was then handcuffed and taken to jail.
“On a positive note, Sean will finally get his wallet back when he’s released,” the post concluded. “Whenever that will be. It’s in a brown paper bag in inmate property.”