“I’ve lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment,” Flack wrote in the message.
Caroline Flack’s death has officially been ruled a suicide.
Flack was found dead in her home on Saturday, just weeks before she was due to stand trial on assault charges. Her death came nearly two months after she left “Love Island” following her arrest for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend, Lewis Burton.
On Wednesday, the family of the television personality released a previously unpublished Instagram post where Flack opened up about the incident, calling it an “accident.” In the post, which was given to local U.K. newspaper The Eastern Daily Press, Flack wrote that she “took responsibility for what happened that night,” but said she was “NOT a domestic abuser.”
Flack expressed that she had been experiencing “some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time” and described the traumatic incident as an “accident” stemming from an “argument” between her and Burton.
On why she decided to write the Instagram post, Flack explained, “The reason I am talking today is because my family can’t take anymore. I’ve lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment.”
The former ITV host concluded the message by apologizing to her family and friends and spoke about how she planned to move forward.
“I’m not thinking about ‘how I’m going to get my career back,'” she wrote. “I’m thinking about how I’m going to get mine and my family’s life back.”
While Flack’s family said she had been advised not to post the message, they wanted to release it through the EDP to clear up the “many untruths” regarding the situation, per the Daily Press.
It was not disclosed exactly when the post was written, although her mom said Caroline had sent it to her at the end of January.
Read Flack’s unpublished post in full, below.
“For a lot of people, being arrested for common assault is an extreme way to have some sort of spiritual awakening but for me it’s become the normal.
I’ve been pressing the snooze button on many stresses in my life – for my whole life. I’ve accepted shame and toxic opinions on my life for over 10 years and yet told myself it’s all part of my job. No complaining.
The problem with brushing things under the carpet is …. they are still there and one day someone is going to lift that carpet up and all you are going to feel is shame and embarrassment.
On December the 12th 2019 I was arrested for common assault on my boyfriend …Within 24 hours my whole world and future was swept from under my feet and all the walls that I had taken so long to build around me, collapsed. I am suddenly on a different kind of stage and everyone is watching it happen.
I have always taken responsibility for what happened that night. Even on the night. But the truth is …. It was an accident.
I’ve been having some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time.
But I am NOT a domestic abuser. We had an argument and an accident happened. An accident. The blood that someone SOLD to a newspaper was MY blood and that was something very sad and very personal.
The reason I am talking today is because my family can’t take anymore. I’ve lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment.
I can’t spend every day hidden away being told not to say or speak to anyone.
I’m so sorry to my family for what I have brought upon them and for what my friends have had to go through.
I’m not thinking about ‘how I’m going to get my career back.’ I’m thinking about how I’m going to get mine and my family’s life back.
I can’t say anymore than that.”
Later on Wednesday, the Poplar Coroner’s Court ruled Flack’s death as a suicide.
Her body was discovered just one day after she had been told that the Crown Prosecution Service was pursuing the court case against her, despite her boyfriend wanting the charges dropped.
On Sunday, Burton broke his silence over Flack’s death. In a heartbreaking Instagram post, the tennis player wrote he was “lost for words” over the passing of his girlfriend and expressed that he would be her “voice” moving forward.
Flack was 40.
View this post on Instagram
My heart is broken we had something so special. I am so lost for words I am in so much pain I miss you so much I know you felt safe with me you always said I don’t think about anything else when I am with you and I was not allowed to be there this time I kept asking and asking. I will be your voice baby I promise I will ask all the questions you wanted and I will get all the answers nothing will bring you back but I will try make you proud everyday. I love you with all my heart ?
f you or someone you know is harming themselves or contemplating suicide, please seek help by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.