Elizabeth Hurley looked ORGASMIC yesterday as she launched Jordache at Macy’s Herald Square. Elizabeth better be happy I wasn’t there because I would’ve pushed that bitch down to get those topless men to work me over!

Jaime Pressley is GLOWING in Badgley Mischka.

Like Noah’s Ark, the celebs came in twos tonight. Here are some of the most notable couples.

BEST SAG. Real women have curves and these curvaceous ladies are showing off their juicy MELONS!

Jada Pinkett-Smith is HOT in PINK!

Ellen Pompeo’s hair is pulled back so tight it confused her enough to think this Lanvin gown was a good idea to wear. The silhouette is ALL WRONG. Womp Womp!

Vanessa Williams wins Most Improved!! She’s back to FABULOUS in Pamela Roland.

Eva “The Diva” Longoria scores with Vera Wang!

Jamie Lynn Sigler is gorgeous in Calvin Klein. LOVE IT!

Heather Graham sports Oscar De La Renta gown and STRIPPER HEELS courtesy of Versace

Kate Walsh from Grey’s Anatomy in Kevin Hall. WTF?? She looks like Big Bird. Womp Womp!

Kim Raver from 24 in Kevin Hall. LOVE IT!

Alicia Keyes looked FABULOUS at the premiere of her first film, Smokin’ Aces! Common who dropped a few negative words about her acting abilities as mentioned in our previous post, showed up to show some TWO-FACED support! The movie looks like it’s giving the double BOOM-KAT HI-YA to all assassin films! Alicia brought her boo Kerry Brothers who she put to the test by making him wait an entire year for the goodies. Two snaps Alicia! Get it right, keep it tight!

Curious about Smokin’ Aces? Check out the trailer…

Mary-Kate Olsen, looked like a GHOST trapped in limbo at the In Style and Warner Bros. 2007 Golden Globe After Party Red Carpet. Why would a young girl dress like a old woman and display her DRIED up breasts? The only possible answer is THE BITCH IS HUNGRY! BIG HUNGRY!

Ben Affleck and Djimon Hounsou looked SMASHING at the 12th Annual Critics’ Choice Awards Red Carpet, but is it me or does this picture make you feel a little UNCOMFORTABLE?