Paris Hilton rocking a new super duper cute blonde do looks like she’s about to _________________ (Kid Rock) while at the beach yesterday in Malibu,California.

I’m so super duper happy that E! has cancelled The Simple Life for many reasons and especially because of last night’s episode! In the episode jailbirds Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are to help run an acting camp headed by the bananas Sally Kirkland. So for some stupid and offensive reason they decide to “get in character” and play two Black girls! Paris Hilton who has said the N-word several times before had no business portraying a Black woman and why would Nicole Richie have to dress up as something she already is (Nicole in the past during interview yelled, “I am black!” ). They both are completely and utterly whack!

This week has been the week of washed-up celebs. From Lindsay Lohan getting a DUI (again) to Drew Carey taking over the “Price Is Right” to previews of Cuba Gooding, Jr. in the new flick “Daddy Day Camp,” former talented stars have been washing-up in the news faster than Posh and Becks appear in the headlines. So, I’m suggesting a 24-hour coup d’etat for these stars to get it together!

Let’s start with Britney. Poor, poor, Britney. In the past few weeks she’s skinny-dipped in her skivvies, pissed off everyone she’s known since birth and wiped up dog poo with a 5 thousand dollar Zac Posen gown at an OK! Magazine photo shoot. She even went sailing with her young boys with no life jackets. Not a good mom move. COUP D’ETAT: Never thought I’d say this but where is K-Fed? He, mom, sis, fired manager, etc. need to sit her down, call her out and find her a help—and a stylist.

And then there’s Lindsay. Lindsay Nomam. Besides the fact that she was only out of rehab 11 days before she was chasing cars on coke, I just have to say why voluntary ankle bracelet, why? If you knew you were going to get drunk less than two weeks out of the alcohol pokie why call yourself out like that? COUP D’ETAT: Forget rehab. Lindsay needs to work, really work, at a shitty low-paying job like the rest of the 21 year-olds out there. Six weeks in rehab? Ha! Let’s see how she does substance free serving IN N’ OUT burgers for six weeks. Her ass will be sober and willing to work overtime on the set of sequel to the Parent Trap in 0-60 fast.

Finally, there’s Nicole Richie who on Friday was sentenced to 4 days in jail, 3 years probation and a $2000 fine for driving under the influence last year. Granted, she’s luckier than Paris but I’m sure that bun in the oven didn’t hurt the verdict. COUP D’ETAT: Food. Food. Food. Oh, and did I mention a meal. Oh wait, and can I get a side of a career?

There you have it. This week’s washed-up celebs who need to check themselves before they wreck themselves (seriously, Lindsay, are you listening?)

Our friend David Gilmore of Pretty On The Outside continues his winning streak of hilarious drawings with this one of Paris Hilton as the “The Loch Ness Mess Monster”. When I saw this drawing of Paris, I almost peed on myself from laughter!

Here’s what he had to say about this drawing:

The Loch Ness Mess monster (Paris Hilton) was seen off the coast of southern California earlier this week. Nessie Messie as she’s nicknamed was quite friendly as she frolicked in the surf. She flashed her big smile and right breast at some bewildered onlookers giving them much more than they ever wanted to see. Much more.
Speaking of much more than you’d ever want to see, Messie’s one time BFF Brit Brit was only seen dirtying up the water off the coast of southern California. Someone call a clean up crew. Please.

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… for cruelty to animals! Now she knows it’s way too hot to have a dog in all that leopard print and lace! Absurd!

Lock her back up for this foolishness!

Paris and Nicky Hilton were seen recently at Paris’ new $2.9 million waterfront estate which is approximately 2,250 square feet, has two-bedroom and three bathrooms. Must be nice!