Kevin Federline who celebrated his 30th birthday in Las Vegas on Friday at Pure Nightclub looks like _______________ ?

And can you believe that he got booed at his very own birthday celebration? Check out this TMZ video of the crowd letting K-Fed have it!

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Kevin Federline’s lawyer has spoken out about the court’s recent decision to ban Brit-Brit from seeing her kids, saying “Kevin’s not indifferent to how difficult it has to be on their mother and on the kids. It’s a sad situation. There’s no victorious feeling. Kevin wants nothing more than to be able to parent his children with participation by their mother. But the best interest of the children requires that they be in the most sound, safe, nurturing and consistent environment. That is paramount.”

The lawyer also said: “[Kevin] is committed to trying to fill any void by him being there at all times for them in any way. He can’t replace their mother in their life but he is going to try to minimise the hardship.”

Kevin Federline is launching a legal battle to rescue Britney from Adnan Ghalib, the photog from Birmingham, England, who Britney has been shacked up with for weeks, says The Sun.

A source close to K-Fed told the newspaper that “Kevin and his legal team want to get Britney away from him. They are concerned she has completely lost all sense of reality.

“Dating a photographer who has tailed her for months is like sleeping with the enemy.

“Kevin’s team want him sent home if he hasn’t got his papers in order. They also plan to bring Adnan before the court to explain why he took Britney into hiding when she really needed further medical attention.

“They are concerned that he is not looking out for her best interests and are worried about him being around the kids.”

Meanwhile, Adnan has been disowned by his strict Muslim family back in the U.K… the only way to worm himself back in to the family circle? Marry Britney and make her a Muslim. Please, God, no.

Paris Hilton, K-Fed and Brody Jenner. It really doesn’t get much better than that, love muffins.

The three unlikely amigos were spotted getting their groove on with Frankie Delgado at the NYE Weekend at LAX Nightclub Las Vegas. Britney probably won’t be happy that her ex is schmoozing with her friend/enemy, Paris!

Reports are swirling that K-Fed knew about Jamie-Lynn’s pregnancy before Brit-Brit found out. Oh dear! Brit will not be a happy love muffin!

“Kevin knew before Britney that Jamie Lynn was pregnant,” a source close to the Federline family told the New York Post. “In fact, Britney’s mom Lynne told Kevin about it on Monday because Lynne wanted Kevin to be prepared.”

Prepared? Why on earth would he have to be prepared… he isn’t the father!…. or… is… he? Just kidding, love muffins.

This has got to be a huge shock for the whole family, but it’s definitely the last thing Britney needs right now. Oh, well, Happy Christmas to the Spears family!

Details Magazine actually went as far as to call K-Fed ‘”Father of the Year” in this year’s power issue, and they even gave him his second cover! The dancer/ex-husband/singer/CSI actor(!?!?) came in at number 7 on the mag’s list of the 50 Most Influential Men Under 45 alongside none other than Larry Birkhead. Calling that berk a good father too is a stretch don’t you think? Details claims that “by being more visible presences in their children’s lives than many Hollywood A-listers, they emerged as unlikely candidates for Dad of Year.” I’ll say!

What’s next? Britney as mother of the year? Paris winning a humanitarian award? Puuuurrr-lease!

Sources tell TMZ Britney and K-Fed attended their first co-parenting class this morning.

We’re told Brit just arrived and K-Fed is on his way. The class will last a couple of hours. They will meet with a parenting coach, who will give them advice on how a divorced couple should raise their children.The kids are not present.

Sources say Britney is actually looking forward to discussing parenting with her ex.

It’s only the third time Brit and K-Fed have been in the same room since they separated. The other two occasions involved settlement conferences at a lawyer’s office.

That’s right they both need to learn some parenting skills not just Britney! Let’s hope these two fools don’t get back together because then their two boys Sean Preston and Jayden James are surely doomed.

In other Brit-Brit news, apparently she hasn’t fully paid her dancers that performed with her at last month’s MTV Video Music Awards! Us Weekly is reporting that:

they have yet to be fully compensated for their work leading up to the September 9 event. “The dancers were paid for the actual show and some of the rehearsals, but not all of them,” an industry insider tells Us. The problem may stem from Spears’ being dropped by her management agency, The Firm, on September 17.

“Her management usually pays the dancers,” explains the source. McDonald/Selznick Associates, which booked the hoofers, had no comment.

Now Britney even though your performance sucked a$$ doesn’t mean that you have to take it out on the dancers! Pay them now!

Kevin Federline will retain full custody of the two boys with Britney Spears having “some supervised visitation” rights until the next hearing on October 26th!

This is so sad. According to Us Weekly:

Lawyers for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were in court Wednesday for the second hearing of the week regarding custody of the former couple’s two sons, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1. While Spears received the news at her Beverly Hills home, Federline (wearing a patch over one eye) was present in court when Judge Scott M. Gordon ruled to uphold his October 1 decision to grant Federline full custody until further court order.

Spears has been given visitation rights, but a source tells Us that will she will have to be supervised.

While leaving the courtroom, Spears’ attorney Sorrell Trope told reporters, “I’m not going to say anything. It’s totally inappropriate from my perspective to make comments on an active case without my client’s expressed consent, and she is not here.”

Meanwhile, Federline’s lawyer Mark Kaplan told the press, “The orders were justified and [Kevin]’s pleased with the orders in place.”

Poor Britney! No family, no friends, no husband, no nobody! I really hope she lays low and doesn’t do anything crazy before Oct 26th!

ET is on and they said OK! magazine is reporting that Britney will begin rehab at Crossroads on Saturday in Antigua. It’s OK Magazine so I don’t know if its true.

According to TMZ:

Kevin Federline has arrived at the Los Angeles County Superior Courthouse for today’s custody hearing. He is wearing a blue suit, white shirt and (wait for it) a patch on his right eye. AND he’s wearing sunglasses. Not kidding. No Britney in sight.

What happened to his eye and where is Brit-Brit? Did she bust him in it? Stay tuned love muffins for all the latest details!

… no matter what will be raised by their nannies as photographed today going for a ride with a nanny near K-Fed’s L.A. home. So sad!

We all know that Kevin Federline has been granted temporary, yet full custody of his two children—Sean Preston and Jayden James—from their unfit mother, Britney Spears. We’re all wondering how and why he’s considered the next best option as a guardian. We know his axel grease contributed to their making, but really. There must be another way around this!

This morning on LA’s Power 106 FM, Big Boy and the Neighborhood spoke with the newly appointed father in charge about his win in this battle. Although he was excited, it seemed like the majority of the phone call was a marketing tool for Federline to plug his new album, which he stated would be named ‘Knuckle Deep in Some Yakisoba’. Why, you’re asking? Well, when he found out the good news, he was just that—knuckle deep in a plate of yakisoba! And he even claimed that he and Britney discussed a potential record release battle of Kanye vs. 50 proportions in the very near future.

In the meantime, we’re all asking the same question: Who is concerned for the kids!

Take me higher lord X17 is reporting that Britney Spears may have hired a professional hit-man to kill her estranged ex Kevin Federline.

Our guy down at the courthouse today tells us a celeb news magazine show had a producer there for the hearing in Britney and Kevin’s custody case where uber-attorney Gloria Allred was to produce a ’secret witness’ and the mic-holder was yelling out questions about allegations of Britney having hired a hit-man to kill Kevin Federline?!!! What?! Even Allred looked shocked and she seemed to have no idea what this ill-informed producer was talking about and we’re pretty certain that info is totally WACK!

ET is reporting that:

several reliable sources that the FBI and LAPD are investigating legitimate leads on a contract hit on KEVIN FEDERLINE’s life.

Multiple sources tell ET that the FBI made attempts to contact Federline to inform him of the potential danger.

In addition to maybe losing her two boys today, a little birdie told me that Britney will be losing Laura Wasser her famed attorney as soon as the hearing starts!

At a hearing in the ongoing Britney Spears/K-Fed custody war that is just about to start, disso-queen Laura Wasser will submit legal papers formally withdrawing as the singer’s attorney. Sources say Spears’ new lawyer will be high-profile attorney, Marci Levine. The word we hear is that Britney was a problem client because she just didn’t listen to and follow the advice Wasser gave so Spears could maintain custody and end the war.

In other random Brit-Brit news, she has been banned from the Chateau Marmont for smearing food all over her face.

Britney came under the management spotlight at exclusive Chateau Marmont after reports she was “acting weird”. And it seems “acting weird” doesn’t begin to describe her latest act of lunacy, which saw Britney stunning fellow diners in the posh hotel restaurant by smearing a plate of top-notch food over her FACE.Horrified guests were understandably outraged and demanded the management kick her out for good. A source said: “The diners were disgusted. You wouldn’t expect that from a teenager in a fast-food joint. Royalty have dined in this restaurant. Her behaviour was totally unacceptable.”

Word on the street is Kevin Federline’s ex- is seven weeks pregnant—with his baby! If this is true, that makes three children with Shar and two children with Britney for a total of five Federline rugrats! Get DYFS on the phone because things don’t look so good for everyone’s future.

According to the NY Post:

“…his on-again-off-again-and-for-sure-lately very on-again romance with Shar Jackson seems to have produced yet another baby between them. She’s into her seventh week….Star magazine is saying she’s hoping this brings them back together as a family.”

Now, if you asked me a minute ago what I thought Kevin Federline was doing right now, I would have said eating Cocoa Krispies and watching Wheel of Fortune. But apparently, he is a busy man. Too busy in fact to take a minor role in an upcoming film starring Keanu Reeves and Forest Whitaker. His rep (yes, he has a rep) says he wasn’t cast “due to his availability and our shooting schedule.”

Does this man not have four chil’ren? He best make time before Shar Jackson and Britney pull some ‘Ex-Wives Club’ voodoo on him!

Keanu Reeves & Kevin Federline? In a movie? Together?

That’s right, love muffins! Reeves’ latest project in production, Night Watch, is a story of a LAPD cop who becomes an alcoholic after the death of his wife. To top it all off, he is framed by his mentor (Forest Whitaker) and charged in the murder of another police offer.

The plot from this cop-drama seems familiar but interesting. From the writer of The Fast and the Furious, Training Day and S.W.A.T, it might be a potential blockbuster. The all-star cast includes Chris Evans, Whitaker, Reeves, and rap artist turned thespian, Common. But where in the world does K-Fed fit in as a Hollywood heavy hitter?

Britney “Fears” will be screaming in horror if her Fed-Ex is hitting the red carpets at the same events as she!

Should be interesting. Only time will tell!

It was only a matter of time before scum-buckets Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline started partying together. The two trashy peas in a pod came out last night to celebrate Jason Strauss’ (Paris’s current boy-toy) birthday at TAO Nightclub in Las Vegas.

How does Paris Hilton get her grimy hands on all these orgasmic men? Excuse me while I go to the bathroom and throw up! (and why is Paris’ face so pasty white in comparison to her tanned body!)

It only took Britney Spears and Kevin Federline five hours to hammer our the details of their divorce settlement. Michael Sands, spokesperson for Federline’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan recently stated:

“All parties signed a global settlement agreement on all issues concerning their marriage and custody of their two children [Sean Preston, 18 months, and Jayden James, 6 months]“

Both parties were reportedly amicable and even engaged in a 15 minute smoking break together. (How sweet!) The details about the agreement have yet to be released but I’m sure K-Fed will be getting a nice fat check! The deal won’t become final until a judge signs off on it. Isn’t it funny how 2 years of marriage can be over in 5 hours. It is rumored that K-Fed will walk away with around $1 million.

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Of course I’m referring to the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls (Get your minds out of the gutter!). On Wednesday, Fed-Ex celebrated his 29th birthday, and last night PURE Nightclub in Las Vegas hosted a party for the unemployed dancer/rapper. As expected, not a single celebrity showed up!

Kevin Federline’s best friend has disclosed to Us Weekly that the former background dancer is putting his life on hold to focus on his wife Britney Spears and their two kids. Kevin is currently taking care of Sean P. and 7 month old Jayden J. while Britney is in rehab at Promises Malibu. I’m amazed how things rearrange–Kevin was the one known for his partying, drinking and smoking pot, while Britney stayed at home to look after the children. Now, the best friend claims Kevin’s newfound responsibilities as the primary parent for his children and the need to take care of his wife have changed his outlook on life.

“He’s devastated and cries all the time,” a source says. “Kevin wants to get back together with her. He is her biggest supporter.”

I just think you never really know the situation looking in from the outside as we often do, and who knows, K-Fed might be a good guy!

The weekend before Britney Spears checked herself into Promises in Malibu, she reportedly hooked up with girls she had just met at L.A.’s chic Mondrian hotel for some sun bathing. As reported by Us Weekly:

By 11 a.m., an undeterred Spears, 25, had stripped down to a bra and panties poolside, then shaved her legs in the pool bathroom. “It was sad,” says a source. “It looked like she really needed a friend.” She got two – at least for a few hours. Around noon, Spears (then in a blonde wig) began chatting up a woman in the bathroom, who offered to loan the pop star a bathing suit. Spears followed her new friend to her hotel room where — after changing into a borrowed bikini — she raided the minibar. “She grabbed four or five bottles and just started mixing everything and drinking them.”

Okay, sharing bikinis and shaving legs poolside is gutter-butt but Britney’s body is smoking! Not as skinny as she use to be but who cares!

All of the usual suspects were in the house including JT’s producers, Timbaland and Will.I.Am.

All of the performances were HOT HOT HOT!!! JT did his thing for the crowd then he was joined on stage by the Black Eyed Peas and Timbaland.

Fergalicious Indeed…The dress was HIDEOUS but this chick performed her ass off!

Nelly Furtado got so “LOOSE” she eventually had to come up out of her clothes! PRICELESS!

RIDE ‘EM GIRL!!!

I was surprised to see none other than Fed-Ex at the party! I guess the EXES have a lot to talk about!

Couple Alert: Vanessa Minillo and Nick Lachey were quite affectionate all night. Not in a nasty get-a-room kind of way but more of sweet loving way. AWWW!

Things got quite UNCOMFORTABLE when they ran into Jessica Simpson’s father, Papa Joe Simpson. (Why is he out this late anyway? Isn’t he supposed to be a pastor or something?)

Look who else rolled through! Doesn’t Diddy have twin babies to take care of?? I’m just wondering!

The Hills Have Eyes. Audrina Patridge and Lauren “LC” Conrad from MTV’s The Hills

By the end of the night everyone was drunk off their ass. Exhibit A (Kid Rock and David Spade)

Justin Timberlake and his former background dancer (that just so happened to have F@#KED Shitney), Kevin Federline acknowledged each other with hugs and kisses last night at the Verizon/Rolling Stone Grammy Party! I know Shitney is going to go APE S@#T when she sees this love-fest between the only two men she ever really loved! Damn, I guess it’s true that what goes around comes around, ouch that has to hurt!

Justin was like did that really just happen?

And K-Fed was like I miss Shitney’s money!

K-FED’S OUTFIT – $60.12, SHITNEY SPEARS CRYING IN HER CLOSET – PRICELESS!

When I first saw you I said OH MY! I can only imagine what’s bouncing around in Jamie Foxx’s trunks with NO UNDERWEAR on!

Scarlett Johannson is CLASSY as usual with red velvet slip-ons.

Kid Rock is bringing REDNECK BACK, rocking trailer park chic!

Alyssa Milano shuts the beach down with her HOT BOD!

Can K-Fed be WACK and SEXY at the same time?

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Kate Moss rocked BAG-LADY chic on her way to lunch at the London branch of Nobu on Monday. Baby you are just doing too much!

STEAMING HOT! Brad Pitt exiting his West Hollywood office Monday. Brad who is currently filming The Mysterious Case of Benjamin Button in New Orleans, has been in L.A. to mourn the death of partner Angelina Jolie’s mother Marcheline.

Sienna Miller MINUS Diddy shows off her vintage dress at the New York premiere of her film Factory Girl on Monday.

Teri Hatcher, my favorite housewife, getting her LAUGH on during a comedy event to benefit the AmberWatch Foundation in Hollywood on Monday. Hatcher is the national spokesperson for the foundation, which provides education about how to prevent child abduction and molestation.

Hilary Duff, who looked like she’s was about to HURL, walked up to hot spot Hyde Lounge with her sister Haylie on Monday.

Hot of the heels off his Nationwide Commercial Leak, Kevin is snapped leaving NYC nightclub Butter Tuesday morning. Kevin could so HIT IT!

The DUMPED Cameron Diaz continues to soak up the sun Saturday in Hawaii as she begins week two of her island getaway. The actress has been vacationing with pals including Kelly Slater as mentioned our previous post.