Hey B. Scott,

I’m not sure if you ever have time to check your email but I’m actually desperate for your advice. I just recently broke up with this guy I had been best friends with for 6 years ad dating for 4 years. To give you a lil history, we met long distance even though we were originally were from the same place. We hit it off and became inseperable, talking everyday at least 3-4 X. I was a good challenge for him because he wasn’t used to such an ambitious going all over the world woman who was going to be long distance, tell him no to sex, and challenge him to be his best. We’ve broken up twice before–1)he ignored me for a week and I had to chase him down for him to tell me some stuff about him not being sure if he was ready for a commitment and he thought he was bisexual 2)he couldn’t handle long distance (thru txt message) 3) this last final time he stated that we needed to part so we could work on ourselves to eventually come back together. (thru txt message)

So I’ve been up here thinking that basically we were taking a break to better ourselves but I find out recently of his claims to have fallen out of love with me because our differences were more than our similarities and he felt I in a diff league he just didnt feel like trying to reach. he is talking to this other female who is 26, uneducated, on food stamps, has 2 kids, and just got out of an abusive relationship. and she has been contacting me about how i need to let go and go cry somewhere so she and her new man can continue in peace…she has been calling me out my name….and he has continued to be cold with me…not showing any signs of wanting to fight for me for friendship or relationship.i have ever been so hurt bscott…ive been fighting for this man for 6 years and he feels like he owes me nothing. I’ve been so depressed thinking suicidal and homicidal thoughts….just dont want to be this obsessive, depressed, submissive girl who cant move on with her life. Can you please help me? I know I deserve better and God has a plan for me but right now I just can’t figure out how to let go of him without constantly calling, txtig, and fbooking him. and then its just making it worse with the girl contacting me and trying to publicly humiliate me….im in the dumps. please help me get out.

Love,
A black female who deserves so much better in life

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Okay Love Muffins, as we know there is no guidebook to this dating game. But there are some things that you think would be obvious, however, some people just don’t get it! It’s not that they’re intentionally trying to turn you off, but certain conversation topics are a certified no-no! The no-no of which I speak is the ex. Of course we have been in relationships before but that should not be discussed more than briefly. What it does is send red flags that you are not over your last significant other and that you maybe dating prematurely. Love muffins, if you hear these opening statements or use them yourself, then you should really take some time and figure out whether or not you are ready to date! CONTINUE READING

Dear Supreme Love Muffin,

I follow you on Twitter and you’ve always put a smile on my face in everything you do. And I need a few words of encouragement now, more than ever. I’ve always given my mom no respect because she chooses drugs over her kids and lost us in a custody battle -me and my 3 younger brothers- due to heavy drug abuse. And I love her so much but I’ve never showed her cause I wanted her to hurt as we were hurting. But earlier this week, she came to me and informed me that she he has less than a month to live. I’m so hurt my heart is so heavy. What advice do you have for me?
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Hey B,

First off I love you and always read all the advice you give, but as of recently I’ve found myself in a pickle of my own. My husband and I have a couple friend, as in friends who are also married. About a month ago my husband deployed to Afghanistan, and being the supportive friend she is, my female friend often invites me over for dinner or when her and her husband go to a movie asks me along so I’m not sitting home alone on the weekend. We live overseas so I have no family nearby. Here is the problem. Her husband is making passes at me. Whenever she leaves the room he says how he is into me and how his wife doesn’t sleep with him anymore. He has even grabbed my butt!

Of course I told him to stop and I told him I wasn’t buyin what he was sellin. I talked to my husband about it (who was peeved) but he thinks I should just not say anything. My husband says my girlfriend will never believe me anyway, and that it would just end our friendship. But things are so awkward. I hate to turn her down all the time now when she invites me to do things, especailly when its so obvious I’m avoiding her….well him. I also feel guilty because if the tables were turned I absolutely would want to know if my husband was making advances on one of my friends. But what if my husband is right and opening my mouth will only make things worse? What do you think? To speak or not to speak?

Sincerely,
On the fence
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Question:

I’ve been in love with 2 men and I love them with all my heart. But I also know I can’t have my cake and eat it too even though I want to have my cake and eat it up too. They both love me, and ive try to tell them both that I can only be with one yes both of them know about each other and both tell me all the time that I have to choose one or loose one of them but I can’t let them go what should I do about this?

Love,
Havin’ the cake, and eatin’ it too
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Question:

Dear B. Scott,

I’m so lost and confused…I am boy crazy, whenever I get around a guy who shows me attention and I also give attention back I just go crazy. I mean I may want to take it slow and try to build a relationship, but something happens when we get alone and we may go from just talking, to kissing, to OTHER activities. I don’t even understand how or why this happens, I just know that after all is said and done I feel dirty and feel like trash…and I recently did this and my school is small so I constantly see this person….and I don’t know how I can take my actions back or make them right…because I actually liked this person…and I just messed everything up. Please, please help me, I don’t know what triggers this behavior or how to stop! I’m lost and confused and I know that my parents and family would not be proud of my actions…

Thanks,
Lost and Confused
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Question:

Dear B. Scott,

I really like this guy and he likes me too. We met June 28th and we started going out July 28th. so the 28th of this month would make it a month for us. He’s my first real boyfriend but, my mom doesn’t know she just think he is my friend. She said if he really likes me he would come over and meet my family first and take the time to get to know them. I’ve talked to him about this and he said he’s scared my family won’t like him. On the weekends he goes to his cousin house and wants me to come and see him. I live fifteen minutes away from his cousin. I figured why he won’t come and see me. I don’t like lying to my mother and us sneaking around is childish in three years I’ll be twenty one. What the best thing i should do and do you think it was too soon for us to start dating. As well he does not text me like he use to is that a sign he’s not into me or might have his feelings hurt. I hope u can answer my question thank you.

Sincerely,
Your love muffin
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