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Ask B. Scott: ‘My Best Friend Is Getting on My Nerves!’

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Dear B. Scott,

My best friend gets on my nerves. We don’t live in the same town anymore so we’re forced to catch up via phone or Skype, but every time we talk she always seems to be complaining about SOMETHING. Her job, her husband, her sick mother, everybody is always out to get her…it’s always some drama and I can’t handle it.

I want to be a good friend, but to be frank I’m sick of hearing her bullsh*t. What do you do when your best friend is driving you crazy?

Dear Love Muffin,

I recently have been going through this exact same situation with a couple of friends. These friends in particular seem to always call me with some sort of drama going on in their lives.

Literally over the past year I’ve listened to hours and hours of their perils. What I realized is that I was on a nonstop merry-go-round. Over and over again, the same topics, the same issues, no lessons being learned.

People would rather stay where they are than deal with the deeper issues that cause them to remain in these repetitive unfavorable situations.

I finally had to put my foot down for my sanity and explain why I can no longer hear them talk about the same issues they aren’t willing to address.

Human beings are very much so affected by the energy of others. Spending so much of my life force listening to their drama, it started to affect my energy as well as my overall mood. I inadvertently began to attract some of the same negativity.

Protecting your spirit and energy is essential to your well being. You must surround yourself with people who lift you up, not bring you down by continuously involving you in the same types of problems they refuse to deal with.

As a friend, it’s only natural for your best friend to seek your advice. But at some point your friend needs to work towards solutions and not just use you as her rehashing center. Explain your position and let your friend know how she is affecting you. After that, you can decide on whether you continue to listen or make your ear a little less available.

Life is too short to spend your life weighed down by anyone’s problems, hell we have enough of our own to deal with.

Love,

B. Scott

Submit your questions now: bscott@ebony.com and be sure to tweet us @lovebscott with the hashtag #AskBScott

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