I broke up with my boyfriend a little under 6 months ago, but I still feel connected to him. We’re not together, we don’t have sex, we rarely see each other — but we talk and text all day every day. I want to move on, but I don’t know why I can’t seem to just leave him alone. I’m afraid that if I stay around, I’m just giving him the opportunity to hurt me again. How can I let him go?
Dear Love Muffin,
I hate to be blunt, but the only way to move on completely from an ex-boyfriend is to move on.
It’s great that you two have managed to maintain somewhat of a friendship after breaking up — but when it comes to relationships, blurred lines always carry the risk of making things complicated.
In my experience it’s always better to make a clean break, then come back around and try to maintain a friendship after enough time has passed that you’ve both had the opportunity to identify why you didn’t work, learn from your experiences, and make peace with it.
Do some soul-searching and try to identify what it is that keeps bringing you back to him. Do you two have unresolved issues? Are you still holding out for an apology? Or is it that deep down inside you think you still have a shot at making things work? Whatever it is, the sooner you figure it out the sooner you’ll be able to let go.
Only when you find true resolution within yourself that you’ll be able to move on and start a new chapter in your life.
Letting go isn’t a one time thing, it’s something u have to do over and over again, everyday
Submit your questions now: firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to tweet me @lovebscott with the hashtag #AskBScott
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