Dear B. Scott,
I love my best friend to death, but she’s getting on my nerves. The crazy thing about it, is she hasn’t really done anything to me. Just certain things about her are really starting to irk my nerves. It’s to the point where I don’t always answer her phone calls or respond to her texts. We’ve been best friends for 5 years, I just think we’re at different points in our lives. What do I need to do or say to fix it?
Dear Love Muffin,
It’s very rare that friendships are evergreen.
What I mean by that is sometimes people come into your life at specific times and they aren’t meant to stay forever.
Unfortunately it isn’t something you can fix.
However, what you can do is take a moment of self-reflection and figure out exactly what is causing you to pull away from your best friend. There’s nothing wrong with outgrowing someone, but if you’ve truly outgrown her then the distance between you two will gradually take over and life will go on.
Coming to the realization that you’ve outgrown someone close to you is the crux of this situation — and you’ve already done that. Most people can’t get past that step. Now that you have, you can have an honest conversation with her and let her know your feelings.
As always, make sure you’re clear that you’re coming from a place of love and simply express to her that she’s still your girl, but things are different. If you’re able to articulate specific reasons why you feel you two are in different places in your lives — do that.
Who knows, maybe after the conversation you two will have a better understanding of each other and ultimately reach a healthier, stronger friendship.
If not, don’t worry. You’ll feel better having expressed yourself.
Submit your questions now: firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to tweet me @lovebscott with the hashtag #AskBScott