Hello, B! As i write you this issue, my palms are beginning to sweat and i can hear my heart beat in my ear. Well, I’m 17-yrs old and i am a senior in high school. To get to the point i have a friend of the opposite sex well more then a friend, a best friend, we’ve been friends for over 5 years and in the last year someone of the same sex has come into my life and has made it worthwile. My bestfriend hates it with a passion sooo,i decided to cut all ties with this new person for my bestfriend and about 3 weeks later, me and my so called bestfriend continue to argue about the same “BS”. Sooo i did what I thought was best and went back to this person they wanted me to cut all ties with and when my friend found out it was all bad..we havent spoken in 6-weeks now. B. scott, even though me and this person are not in a relationship..am i wrong for what i did to my friend??? i feel that if you’re really my BESTfriend you would accept me for me and because they didnt, I think they’re not…i don’t know if i should cut ties with this person again or forget about my friend and see where it goes with my “future” love….b.scott please help me && keep it real xoxo

love,
torn heart

Hey Young love muffin!

I have to say, letters like these from my love muffins struggling through their formative years, I feel, deserve some attention. So I want to applaud you for your bravery in addressing this matter.

Okay I think get the picture here. However, there’s so much more to this story isn’t it, love muffin? Let me see if I got this straight. Your best friend of the opposite sex doesn’t like your new friend with whom you share the same gender. The best friend doesn’t like new friend, which prompted you to dump the new friend. This didn’t satisfy best friend and the best friend is still embittered with you, so you proceed with the newbie. The best friend finds out and stops talking to you. Geez! That’s confusing, right? I can’t stress this enough, people are placed in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. These are hard knocks but you’ll live and, most importantly, learn through them! If your best friend is a true friend, he or she will understand and accept the notion that the you will decide who you spend time with and vice versa. He or she should also support this as long as your not being reckless and/or destructive. Do you see what I’m saying, love?

I would be committing a crime if I didn’t say this, Dearie. This is your senior year and a pivotal moment in life! Preoccupy yourself with your studies and finish this year strong! Be busy building and planning your next steps. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, literally. There are no do-overs. Make the best of your last year in high school. Explore your options! Meet new people! Have fun!

I am a firm believer in being okay with letting things like this go, and if it’s meant to be, it will return. Take a step back, reassess what both of your friends bring to your life and find a way to balance the two. I would also suggest being still, and watch what unfolds naturally. It’s a hard lesson I think we all learn at some point: Hey, sometimes you fight with your friends! And that’s okay, there will be rifts along the way, but it will only make your friendship stronger. True friends stand the test of time, love muffin!

Hope this helps! Double kisses!

-Love,
B. Scott