October 8, 2009 5 First Date No-No’s
Hey Love Muffins! As the weekend approaches, many of us are looking forward to a first date with a certain someone and more importantly, someone’s looking forward to an outing with you! Now what you don’t want to do is mess it up to a point where someone you might be diggin’ decides on this date that he/she is not diggin’ you, and this works both ways! There are several things people look for on a first date and most times we tend to expose a quirk or two that could immediately set the red flags a’waving! Most can be overlooked in time, but first date decorum is a must if you’re going for a second. We want fireworks, not bleeding flags, lovies! And there are a few things that you may do that could turn your date all the way off. Really. Just think of the last disaster date you had. Of course be yourself, love muffins! But also be on point! So take a look at the 5 first date no-no’s to avoid premature departure!
1.) Keep the Cell Off - there is nothing more aggravating than someone going through their phone, texting and worst yet, taking calls on the first date! This is so rude and simply should not be done! Even on vibe, it’s a distraction, leaving the person busy reading through texts and rejecting calls! All this translates to is disinterest. If you have a pressing issue that may need to be addressed, say so! “Hey, I’m waiting for a call that will take just 2 minutes, so hang in there with me, please. But I’m turning my cell off once it comes through.”
2.) Take Your Time Eating - When your food arrives on a dinner date, do not tear into the plate! Its not going anywhere and it’s most likely too hot which means you have to throw the food around your mouth with spastic heavy exhales trying to find relief, when you should’ve taken your time. Then, once the food cools off, don’t grub like it’s chow time in a jailhouse barely taking your eyes off the plate. This is just bad table etiquette and not to mention, embarrassing and hard to watch.Take proportionate bites of your food in between discussion exchange.
3.) Do Not Get Wasted - you want to remember the date, love muffins! Don’t get carried away with the sipping. Of course, a glass of wine or cocktail tends to take the edge off and kill the nervousness and is more than acceptable. But don’t get drunk. I don’t care of you’re the cool as a cucumber drunk, it’s still not okay. The last thing you want to happen is getting sick or being too slammed to drive yourself home. It’s unattractive and also leaves you vulnerable in ways that could leave in a compromising position. Know your limits.
4.) Leave the Ex Talk to a Minimum - The point is to get to know you. No doubt, your pst makes you who you are today, but the ex has no place on this fresh slate. It’s okay to ask and answer the following question: So tell me about your last relationship, what was that like. The answer should remain short and to the point, “My last relationship lasted 2 years but it just didn’t work out. But no hard feelings, we’ve both moved on.” Leave it there. If you’re getting pressed for more answers, keep it light. “I think this conversation should take place a little farther down the road. I’d really just like to get to know you better.” And look, now you’ve got some mystery about you! Sometimes less is more and you never want to come off embittered or pining over your ex. So don’t go spilling your beans on the table on the first date!
5.) No Sex Talk – keep it clean on the first date! We live in a world where people want too much too fast! Keep it clean, I can’t stress this enough. Nobody needs to know what you do, how you do it and how good you are at it on the first date, period. These kinds of conversations are not necessary in the beginning. Leave something to be desired. Make him/her want to know more about you by avoiding these topics. The best way to do so is completely acknowledge the attempt to take the discussion there with unwavering eye contact coupled with a sexy smirk, followed by silence. This says: “I’m in no way frigid or prude but my lips are sealed until further notice, thank you.” This will also keep the respect level where it needs to be unless you’re out with an undercover loser, in which case, I would suggest you run.
I hope Date Night proves to be a huge success for all of my lovely Love Muffins. Just breathe, have fun and be yourself, you’re beautiful! Double Kisses!
Tina
October 8, 2009 at 11:06 am
LMAO at the burning food in your mouth!
Anonymous
October 8, 2009 at 11:56 am
Great post! I loved the how to avoid sex talk tip. Too often I hear my friends talk about how this was the dominating subject in their first date conversations, but I never had any advice on how to stop this from happening (I don’t date much). Now I will have something good to pass on, and I will be using these words of wisdom when I get back on the scene!
LOVE YOU B .SCOTT
ms virgo
October 8, 2009 at 11:57 am
thanks b this is so helpful especially with all the bad dates i have they have done most of the dont’s u have on this i love you honey
GuttaButta
October 8, 2009 at 12:11 pm
rotfl @ #2..that is hilarious!
LoveStoned
October 8, 2009 at 12:19 pm
OMG! Why did all 5 of these things happen to me in one night! It was such a horrible date! He couldn’t stay off the phone and drank waaay too much so when the food came, you would’ve thought the plate was running from him! Hahaaa! Good lord, I will never forget it! B., once again, you’re all the way on point!
Lexington
October 8, 2009 at 12:51 pm
This was very helpful. I gotta date tomorrow! I think Ill print this out!
Confessionsofaplp
October 8, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I love love LOOOOOVE this post lol. Love how you word everything and you’re so on point. I see a few areas for improvement on the next date. Thanks
Jamesiepoo
October 8, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Love #5
Mark I- The Black Viking
October 8, 2009 at 2:37 pm
You americans make dating too much of a big deal. It’s like all you’re about is finding “the one”, “Mr. right”, “the dreamgirl” etc.
That’s why you’re stuck in these rigid social structures, making rules about this and that. When what you need to do is break out, and be yourself.
And come on if you cant talk about sex, give it up, and be respected afterwards. Well then you shouldnt be with that person, at least I would hope that the sex was jood.
As a gay man being able to step outside the social heteronomative propaganda that society tries to feed us with through all of our upbringing, how can your promote these social constructs which have roots in the same heteronormative structures that makes it hard for us who don’t fit the mold to figure out who we are, and how we can live a good, normal “un-normal” life?
Lexington
October 8, 2009 at 6:14 pm
@Mark I- The Black Viking
Can u please tell everyone where your from?
Mark I- The Black Viking
October 9, 2009 at 3:41 pm
I am a LoveMuffin from Copenhagen, Danmark (Which is in Northern Europe, for you geographically challenged muffins;-))…Hence my alias: The Black Viking.
MochaLove
October 11, 2009 at 11:10 am
Great tips! LMAO at the hot food in your mouth, that’s unattractive for sure! Hahaaa!
Um, “LoveMuffin from Copenhagen” slamming “geographically challenged” Americans, you should learn how to SPELL before you go talking trash! It’s Denmark, dearie. No such thing as black vikings either … *vigorously shaking my head at this clown*
Rashad the Raven
October 12, 2009 at 12:02 pm
LOL @ mochalove.
but yeah B, these are some great tips. you speak/write very well as well. but anywho, I am so with you on points 1, 4, and 5. that’s all guys know how to talk about is sex or their exes. and then texting and taking/ignoring calls while on a date is so annoying. because i want to know..why are u ignoring that call? is that another one of your hoes u forgot to tell you’d be busy? etc etc..u know how it goes
Ambie
January 6, 2010 at 12:59 am
“I’m in no way frigid or prude but my lips are sealed until further notice, thank you.” LOVE THAT .. and the one about the ex .. u are absolutely right .. like wow people rlly need to get the hell over their past!!!!!!!!!!!