Comments on: Ask B. Scott- Should I pursue a guy who only flirts with me if no one else is around? http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:31:23 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Diamond Princess http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-175447 Diamond Princess Mon, 31 Aug 2009 08:08:16 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-175447 The fact that he flirts (if indeed that is what he's dong) when noone is around seems to say that he DOES NOT want anything getting back to his girlfriend; he's just "trying" you to see your response. (Ego tripping). Ignore him! He's just looking for a lil attention. The fact that he flirts (if indeed that is what he’s dong) when noone is around seems to say that he DOES NOT want anything getting back to his girlfriend; he’s just “trying” you to see your response. (Ego tripping). Ignore him! He’s just looking for a lil attention.

]]> By: Lauren http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-172535 Lauren Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:46:53 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-172535 I know someone in the same situation. But you know what, he is flirting with you on the job, but who does he go home to? Not you. His girl. It seems to me he wasn't ready for a baby and now that the girl he's with is changing, he's trying to dip out of that relationship and use you as a crutch. He's handsome and good looking, yeah that's tough, but you got to be firm with him and not play into the flirting back. If you don't stop responding, he will pursue and I see disaster in your future if you allow him to. Eventually, he will turn on you, especially when he has the kid..... I know someone in the same situation. But you know what, he is flirting with you on the job, but who does he go home to? Not you. His girl. It seems to me he wasn’t ready for a baby and now that the girl he’s with is changing, he’s trying to dip out of that relationship and use you as a crutch. He’s handsome and good looking, yeah that’s tough, but you got to be firm with him and not play into the flirting back. If you don’t stop responding, he will pursue and I see disaster in your future if you allow him to. Eventually, he will turn on you, especially when he has the kid…..

]]> By: Minna 330 http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171921 Minna 330 Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:25:32 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171921 Really BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD Idea if he is flurting with you when noone is around. How do you know if you are the only one. He could be flurting with others too, men and women. May God help you if he has something else for you other then his baby mother. He probibly has an "STD." Really BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD Idea if he is flurting with you when noone is around. How do you know if you are the only one. He could be flurting with others too, men and women. May God help you if he has something else for you other then his baby mother. He probibly has an “STD.”

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171535 Anonymous Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:51:23 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171535 My friend and I were just talking about this kind of guy. We coined a term for them, we call them phaseouts. But before I go any deeper with that, I know how tempting it is to play these games at work, but the fact is, that man has a girlfriend AND a baby on the way AND he wont even really talk to you in public...nothing real could ever exist between you two. And if it does happen, he'll prove to be nothing more than a phaseout. He'll give you attention and maybe even hot passion for a few days or maybe even weeks. But eventually he'll give you less and less. Like he's getting tired of you. Soon after he'll be giving you nothing, not even a smile when you two are alone. He plays you off like you were just a phase to him...the passion fades and dies out. And it leaves nothing but regret, bitterness, feelings of stupidity, and oh the hurt. Please, just take my word for it, don't do anything more with that guy. The playing is fine, but don't be fooled. He's nothing but a phaseout. My friend and I were just talking about this kind of guy. We coined a term for them, we call them phaseouts. But before I go any deeper with that, I know how tempting it is to play these games at work, but the fact is, that man has a girlfriend AND a baby on the way AND he wont even really talk to you in public…nothing real could ever exist between you two. And if it does happen, he’ll prove to be nothing more than a phaseout. He’ll give you attention and maybe even hot passion for a few days or maybe even weeks. But eventually he’ll give you less and less. Like he’s getting tired of you. Soon after he’ll be giving you nothing, not even a smile when you two are alone. He plays you off like you were just a phase to him…the passion fades and dies out. And it leaves nothing but regret, bitterness, feelings of stupidity, and oh the hurt.

Please, just take my word for it, don’t do anything more with that guy. The playing is fine, but don’t be fooled. He’s nothing but a phaseout.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171534 Anonymous Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:44:05 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171534 i i

]]> By: Elle.Ghee http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171489 Elle.Ghee Wed, 24 Jun 2009 06:21:12 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171489 I am young black gay man and PROUD TO BE ONE! But my advice to this young man would be DO NOT PERSUE THIS RELATIONSHIP. It honestly saddens me because unfortunatly men that are "Curious", in the "Early Stages" or just plain on the "DownLow" 1) DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT IN THE FIRST PLACE 2) WILL PLAY THE HELL OUT OF YOUR EMOTIONS 3)JUST WANT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLD... unfortunatly as well....this has become such a standard for gay men and men that are seriously BISEXUAL. its sad because SOME gay men accept this type of two faced behavior. It become what is expected. Im 20 years old, I dress like a metrosexual man, I take pride in my appearance and I have straight men trying to talk to me all the time!!!!! BECAUSE THEY THINK ITS CUTE AND EXCEPTABLE AND GAY MEN EXCEPT THAT SHIT...I DO NOT, WILL NOT, WONT CONSIDER IT. You deserve to be with someone who wants you for exactly WHO YOU ARE...a gay man. and its nothing wrong with that. Please do not become another statistic of what people assume this lifestyle is about...which is most of the time is gays dealing with MESSY MEN. Your so much more than that...please do not become simply someones EXPERIANCE...it wont last. I almost went there until i realized I deserve more, and it doesnt matter what your SEXUAL PREFERANCE IS. That is all for now... I am young black gay man and PROUD TO BE ONE! But my advice to this young man would be DO NOT PERSUE THIS RELATIONSHIP. It honestly saddens me because unfortunatly men that are “Curious”, in the “Early Stages” or just plain on the “DownLow”
1) DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT IN THE FIRST PLACE
2) WILL PLAY THE HELL OUT OF YOUR EMOTIONS
3)JUST WANT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLD…
unfortunatly as well….this has become such a standard for gay men and men that are seriously BISEXUAL. its sad because SOME gay men accept this type of two faced behavior. It become what is expected. Im 20 years old, I dress like a metrosexual man, I take pride in my appearance and I have straight men trying to talk to me all the time!!!!! BECAUSE THEY THINK ITS CUTE AND EXCEPTABLE AND GAY MEN EXCEPT THAT SHIT…I DO NOT, WILL NOT, WONT CONSIDER IT. You deserve to be with someone who wants you for exactly WHO YOU ARE…a gay man. and its nothing wrong with that. Please do not become another statistic of what people assume this lifestyle is about…which is most of the time is gays dealing with MESSY MEN. Your so much more than that…please do not become simply someones EXPERIANCE…it wont last. I almost went there until i realized I deserve more, and it doesnt matter what your SEXUAL PREFERANCE IS.

That is all for now…

]]> By: TeneW http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171462 TeneW Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:47:09 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171462 Hayley I gotta disagree with you on that. A man who is attracted to any one man for whatever reason is, at the VERY LEAST, bisexual. Technically, the only thing required of the label of homosexual or bisexual is a sexual attraction to the same sex. They never even have to act on it, they just have to want it. PERIOD. Hayley I gotta disagree with you on that.

A man who is attracted to any one man for whatever reason is, at the VERY LEAST, bisexual. Technically, the only thing required of the label of homosexual or bisexual is a sexual attraction to the same sex. They never even have to act on it, they just have to want it. PERIOD.

]]> By: mDavis http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171461 mDavis Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:33:00 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171461 Hayley, come up off that crack baby...it's not safe. If a dude is flirting with a dude or getting with a dude...that means he's attracted to dudes. You think dicks get hard all by themselves? Damn. Hayley gets the prize for most ridiculous statement of the day. Are you that far removed from reality that you think men just will F anything that moves and it doesnt mean anything? Do you know what makes a dick hard? ATTRACTION! Hayley has to either be a DL dude or a clueless woman who's man sleeps around with dudes and finds it acceptable...Sham.fukcing.WOW!!!! Hayley, come up off that crack baby…it’s not safe. If a dude is flirting with a dude or getting with a dude…that means he’s attracted to dudes. You think dicks get hard all by themselves? Damn. Hayley gets the prize for most ridiculous statement of the day.

Are you that far removed from reality that you think men just will F anything that moves and it doesnt mean anything? Do you know what makes a dick hard? ATTRACTION!

Hayley has to either be a DL dude or a clueless woman who’s man sleeps around with dudes and finds it acceptable…Sham.fukcing.WOW!!!!

]]> By: Hayley http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171442 Hayley Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:40:32 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171442 B your advice is so wrong. You suffer from what alot of gay people suffer from which is you think everyone has to be put in a catergory. Its possible for a straight guy to flirt with a dude and even to get with a dude sexually and still remain straight some guys will screw a dude but not be attracted to guys at all they just be getting theirs. This guy probably ain't gon'be turning gay he probably just wants a fuck. B your advice is so wrong. You suffer from what alot of gay people suffer from which is you think everyone has to be put in a catergory. Its possible for a straight guy to flirt with a dude and even to get with a dude sexually and still remain straight some guys will screw a dude but not be attracted to guys at all they just be getting theirs. This guy probably ain’t gon’be turning gay he probably just wants a fuck.

]]> By: Spicy Goddess http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171434 Spicy Goddess Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:59:30 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171434 WAIT WAIT WAIT................. if u have to tell someone NOT to pursue someone WHEN they are ONLY flirting with u when NO ONE ELSE is around.... then u is just as STUPID as they come. SMGDH!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT WAIT WAIT…………….. if u have to tell someone NOT to pursue someone WHEN they are ONLY flirting with u when NO ONE ELSE is around…. then u is just as STUPID as they come. SMGDH!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> By: Teeyah23 http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171425 Teeyah23 Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:52:18 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171425 I am so sorry I mean this young gentleman sorry for the misuderstanding. I am so sorry I mean this young gentleman sorry for the misuderstanding.

]]> By: Teeyah23 http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171424 Teeyah23 Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:48:13 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171424 I advice this young lady to leave this man alone and walk away from the situation. Like the others have commented he has a gf and baby on the way that's a NO NO. I advice this young lady to leave this man alone and walk away from the situation. Like the others have commented he has a gf and baby on the way that’s a NO NO.

]]> By: Jessica http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171419 Jessica Tue, 23 Jun 2009 11:29:06 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171419 I also agree with Drea, if you know he has a girlfriend and baby on the way, don't contribute to the "down low" syndrome. If he is truly curious then he should let his girlfriend know and become a free agent. The home is definitely not happy (or happy under false pretenses) if he is flirting with you and making sexually overt gestures to you. The fact that he only does it when no one is around and treats you like you're a nobody or doesn't even acknowledge you when someone IS around should have answered your question for you. Leave that man alone and find someone who's not ashamed to be with you openly and privately. If he decides to become a free agent THEN consider the advice given, but karma is a bitch and if he's not being honest with his girlfriend and mother of his child, guess what... I also agree with Drea, if you know he has a girlfriend and baby on the way, don’t contribute to the “down low” syndrome. If he is truly curious then he should let his girlfriend know and become a free agent. The home is definitely not happy (or happy under false pretenses) if he is flirting with you and making sexually overt gestures to you. The fact that he only does it when no one is around and treats you like you’re a nobody or doesn’t even acknowledge you when someone IS around should have answered your question for you. Leave that man alone and find someone who’s not ashamed to be with you openly and privately. If he decides to become a free agent THEN consider the advice given, but karma is a bitch and if he’s not being honest with his girlfriend and mother of his child, guess what…

]]> By: BP http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171405 BP Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:43:20 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171405 Hum....i think Whithney said it BEST...hell to the naw! if he is only focused on uou when no one is there he trying to make you a side show ho and he is not worthy of your or your time...As Oprah has said many times on her show, "people show you who they are when you 1st meet them! Watch and Listen"....it's not right to be a back burner person for anyone EVER. Hum….i think Whithney said it BEST…hell to the naw! if he is only focused on uou when no one is there he trying to make you a side show ho and he is not worthy of your or your time…As Oprah has said many times on her show, “people show you who they are when you 1st meet them! Watch and Listen”….it’s not right to be a back burner person for anyone EVER.

]]> By: Jezz http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171403 Jezz Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:22:01 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171403 I agree totally with Drea. The writter should have stopped when he said he found out he has a pregnant girlfriend. I agree totally with Drea.

The writter should have stopped when he said he found out he has a pregnant girlfriend.

]]> By: Drea http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171396 Drea Tue, 23 Jun 2009 05:16:29 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171396 ok B. Scott your advice was helpful but what about acknowledging the fact that this man has a GIRLFRIEND and CHILD at HOME. Hello!!! the person writing the letter should have stopped flirting when it was established that this man was taken, no matter the gender of the partner. thats the 1ST SIGNAL. Secondly do you want someone that's goin be doing suspicious activities while in a relationship? And if he's not comfortable in himself why would you want him? ok B. Scott your advice was helpful but what about acknowledging the fact that this man has a GIRLFRIEND and CHILD at HOME. Hello!!! the person writing the letter should have stopped flirting when it was established that this man was taken, no matter the gender of the partner. thats the 1ST SIGNAL. Secondly do you want someone that’s goin be doing suspicious activities while in a relationship? And if he’s not comfortable in himself why would you want him?

]]> By: Ms. Leia http://www.lovebscott.com/2009/06/22/ask-b-scott-should-i-pursue-a-guy-who-only-flirts-with-me-if-no-one-else-is-around/#comment-171395 Ms. Leia Tue, 23 Jun 2009 05:12:23 +0000 http://www.lovebscott.com/?p=45513#comment-171395 No! Do not pursue a guy who only flirts with you if no one else is around. If you do, just know that he will only love you when no one else is around too! No! Do not pursue a guy who only flirts with you if no one else is around. If you do, just know that he will only love you when no one else is around too!

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