June 17, 2009 Ask B. Scott – Can I be upset if my BFF is in love with my former Crush?
Love muffins, below you will find this week’s Ask B. Scott with the answer exclusively featured on HoneyMag.com. Enjoy, and please share your thoughts!
Dear B. Scott,
ok so i have this friend who introduced me to a guy in the hopes that we’d hit it off. For what ever reason me and the guy didn’t click 100%, but there was still some chemistry. He was a sweet guy and I appreciated his conversation but some how we lost touch. (here come the dilemma) A few months would pass and I get a call from my friend telling me how she went to see the guy and how she was torn because she likes him but he was in a relationship. So i came right out and asked “did yall mess around” and because she is my girl, she told the truth and said Yes. Right then and there I couldnt help but feel some type of way, almost like I’ve been backstabbed. The way she talked about him made her sound like she was really crushin on him. Now i know this is my girl and boys come and go but i was peeved x100.
My train of though was, if she liked him she should have kept him to herself and not try to play mother love or match maker. I love her and wouldnt let an issue like this cause the demise of our friendship, but am i wrong for feeling some type of way? She doesnt know how i feel because i didnt tell her, instead i played the shoulder to cry on as she went on and on about show she wishes they can be together, but they cant. Im my head all i could think was ” you cock hungry whore, who know no boundries”, i know its wrong but i was smiling at her pain almost, thats the spite in me.
again i love her like i love my jimmy choos but am i allowed to be upset and jealous almost. furthermore should i tell her how i feel or keep it to myself?.
xoxo love muffin.
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nicholepatrice
June 17, 2009 at 10:23 am
Listen never question ur feelings. They are just that. Feelings are not rational logical or sound. If you felt some kind of way its because you should have. I’m going through something similar. I’ve been with my man for years and now my ex bestie is hating come to find out she been liking him all this time. Yea boo you should feel some kind of way. You feel some kind of way…that’s what they hell it is. And I think u should talk 2 her because its not worth ur relationship.
Natacha
June 17, 2009 at 11:49 am
I have been in a situation where my best friend was secretly dating my ex. And I understand why you are upset with your bff. I really don’t know what to tell you. It could be the biggest mistake of your life to tell her how you feel but keeping it to yourself is gonna eat you alive. But seeing as she is your bff, she should be able to handle your true feelings and not hold it against you. Whateva you do….do not refer to her as a “cock hungry whore who has no boundaries”….Name calling can tear friends apart.
JaiMitch
June 17, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I agree with B on this one. Since your friend is the one who introduced you to old boy she probably already had friendship with him as well and sometimes these things happen. I would hope that if your friend knew that you had feelings for this guy she would not be so comfortable coming to you and pouring her heart out about her feelings for him after she and he were together. Bottom line you have to first be honest with yourself and see if your mad because you really had feelings for him or if you are mad that it didn’t work and now you want him because someone else has him. Then you have to be honest with your friend about the way you feel otherwise how your feeling is going to mess up your friendship.
Tanisha
June 19, 2009 at 2:06 pm
I agree with what everyone else stated! You said that you and the guy didn’t work out, so, are you mad REALLY because you feel like , “Why hook me up with someone you know you like?, OR is it that you don’t want her to work if you and him did not. I would tell her. One of my best friends and I went through this a couple of years ago. It changed our relationship. The only difference was, I used to talk to this guy who I really liked but I knew his girl and he knew my ex-boyfriend. I never went there. However, a couple of years later, she went there and some more! She ended up telling me, cause she tell me everything, but I never looked at her the same. I still lover her to death but it made me not trust her. I couldn’t get but so mad cause we never had a sexual relationship but it was the PRINCIPLE of it. I felt like the joke was on me and everyone else knew it. Needless to say, I don’t talk to him AT ALL, my friend is still my friend, but we don’t hang out like we did back then. Regardless, she still has to be held accountable for her actions.
Lauren
July 9, 2009 at 7:54 am
you know you didn’t hit off with the guy 100%, but then again, you never got a chance to. Obviously, your friend has known the guy longer, and you were just getting to know him, because SHE introduced you. You feel like you were never given a chance, and that the guy didn’t really want you in the first place. Instead he wanted your friend. So you feel a bit used, and a bit ignored during the whole situation, as if your friend doesn’t remember introducing you two. And the thing is your BF even mentioned he has a girlfriend. Could that be you or someone else? If it’s you, she knows, and it is time to discuss how you feel. If it is someone else, you both need to forget about him, and if she doesn’t, that’s her loss. Anyway, it’s something you have to calmly and respectfully discuss. Do your best.
Jayjay
January 18, 2010 at 1:27 pm
heyy im going through the same problem i had a crush on dis guy n now my so called bff is all over like some desperate *bish* all i can say is dat i know how u feel and n you should tell her but that doesnt mean its gonna stop her from seeing him