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May 18, 2009 Ask B. Scott: Was I right in leaving the father of my deceased child for my boyfriend now?
Love muffins below you will find this week’s Ask B. Scott with the answer exclusively featured on HoneyMag.com. Enjoy, and please share your thoughts!
Question:
Hey B,
Ok so here how it goes. I used to go with this one dude who we been talking since Oct of ‘06. Ok in 2007 we had a little baby girl but we lost her a month later. I always made a promise to myself that I would prove a lot of broken up parents that we will last forever regardless if we lost our child. Well at my old job, this one guy started working there and at first we hated each other with a passion but we started to get closer to each after i called him one day crying cause me and my boyfriend (at the time) got in a argument. Now in our arguments, we always seem to belittle each other as much as we could can so the other would stop talking but i always seem to lose. So one day me and my friend from work went to one of his friends house for his B-day and we had a little to smoke and drink. A little after midnight i took him home and he was a little drunk. We started talking about a lot of stuff and next thing i know hes giving me a shoulder massage and kissing on my neck. I didn’t resist that until i thought to myself that i already have a boyfriend so i was quick to jump in my car and leave. After that night, the guy i used to work with start talking like on boyfriend girl friend status. I started slowly hanging with him more and hanging wit my boyfriend (at the time) a whole lot less. Afterwards it got to the point where we were claiming each other and were secretly dating. When my boyfriend (at the time) found out he wanted me 2 make a major decision either to stay with him or go with the co worker. I did break up with him so i could date the co worker, which we still are together now. Now here’s my question. My ex and me always seemed to argue about any and everything regardless of what it is. And he didn’t have any kind of job whatsoever so i had to support him. I let him use my car, get access to my bank account pay his bills so on and so forth. Well my boyfriend now, when i got fired he did everything and still is trying to support both me and him even though he gets paid a little $200 a week. Before we were official he took care of me like his wife. Even though me and my ex did have a child together but lost her did i make a better decision leaving my baby’s father for my current boyfriend now?
Love much,
Yung A.
Read my answer to Yung A.’s question now exclusively on HoneyMag.com.
Shelb.
May 18, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Its hard to get over something as major as a loss of a human being, however, if you and your old boyfriend argued all the time, that wasn’t a healthy relationship to begin with. All couples have their ups and downs, but when it comes to the point where if you even breath you start to argue then its time to let it go, if you have love for the person, maybe you can part as friends, if you can’t stand the person, then you just move on, pray for them and never look back.
rosesRred
May 18, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Good response!!! *APPLAUDS*
TheMrs
May 18, 2009 at 9:18 pm
B already touched on the issue of whether it was “right” for her to leave the ex for the new man, but several other things jumped out at me. One of the things that bothers me is the “took care of me like his wife” part- the only time a man can take care of you like a wife is when you’ve signed the papers and said “I Do”. When women allow men to play house, there should be no wonder why that man chooses not to marry them.
Another thing I notice is her talking about the current man taking care of her. I hope she’s trying to get back on her feet asap, because he has no obligation to provide for her, and isn’t making much to even provide for himself. A woman always needs a way to provide for herself, you never know what will happen to take the support of that man away.