The woman who face will never crack made everyone else crack up when she appeared on The View yesterday. From the time she announced sex was the first subject of the day to when she confessed about being most proud of her sexual prowess Joan kept the jokes rolling. Around 3:01 she leaves the other ladies speechless when she says the reason why women marry gay men is because, “you can be screwing and then get your hair done!” I swear she’s one of the funniest 74 year-old women alive and you’ve got to respect her for staying afloat in the entertainment game for over 30 years. Check out the clips below and watch Barbara Walters turn to jelly because of all the debauchery.

Joan Rivers and Joy Behar (big mama with the red hair) keep the show far from it’s cookie cutter norm… though it does take the show a minute to really get rollin’.

*be warned, the sound quality for these clips could use some improvement.

Here are some quotes from her ABC interview that will begin airing on Thursday and Ok! magazine.

Nicole on her pregnancy:

“I’m almost four months.” (ABC)

Nicole on the past year:

“I don’t consider it one of the worst. I think this was a blessing in disguise. This year has been full of lessons learned and soul-searching. … I will be really happy once I have done my jail time. I can start fresh.” (OK!)

Nicole on her guilty plea:

“I have a responsibility and it’s something that I did wrong, and if I could personally apologize to every single person who has lost a loved one from drunk driving, I would. Unfortunately, I can’t, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult.” (ABC News)

Nicole on feeling remorse:

“I was watching CNN about a month ago, and they happened to be talking about young people driving under the influence. They were flashing little kids (on the screen) who were killed by drunk drivers, and it broke my heart. It was a big wake-up call.” (OK!)

Nicole on her sentence:

“It was a fair, standard sentence. I expected that.” (OK!)

Nicole on comparisons with Hilton’s sentence:

“We weren’t charged with the same thing. We had different judges. This isn’t a popularity contest, and it’s not up to people to compare my case with Paris’.” (OK!)

Nicole on why she was on a painkiller when she was arrested:

“I have really bad menstrual cramps.” (OK!)

Nicole on whether she has taken drugs since December:

“No.” (OK!)

Nicole on her favourite foods:

“Sushi. I’m not sure how great that is for me. I also love pizza; I’m a junk-food eater by nature.” (OK!)

[Source]

So it’s all said and done. Well, not yet really, but it will be said and done during her interview with Diane Sawyer. The words are uttered, and the proud parents look…well, proud we guess. Check out the airing of this interview this Thursday and Friday on Good Morning America.

The most important question is…why is Joel literally towering over his baby mama? He’s like a giant!

Love this song! It’s so crunk! Check out the new video for “Wake Up Call”. It’s a mini movie in less than four minutes.