Last night at the Akomplice Season Six Release Party featuring Talib Kweli, I had the pleasure of meeting the absf@#kingolutely orgasmic Jesse Metcalfe! The former Desperate Housewives star is so handsome & sexy in person! So you know I had to ask to touch his ample man-boobs & throbbing biceps and he said yes! They’re so perky! I also asked Jesse what brought him out tonight and he replied: “I came out to chill with some of my friends that I haven’t seen in a while and to see Talib Kweli.” Meeting Jesse Metcalf was clearly the highlight of an otherwise uneventful night!

For those of you who don’t know why I got all hot & bothered when I saw Jesse, here’s a few pictures of why! Take me higher lord!