We hate the oily Cisco, last name Adler, but this man must have something to give being that girlfriend Mischa Barton is still by his side. Maybe, like Kelly Slater, he has a huge “breadstick” to match his MONSTROUS-SIZED scrotum. We heard that the beautiful Barton considered breaking up with the ball sack boy, but alas – such rumors are false. She was indeed upset with him but talks of a break up never existed. Once again – the DING-DING or rather the BOWLING BALLS prevails.

Read more after the jump…

The pictures of Adler’s “Crown Jewels” were released last month after Paris’ stuff was stolen from storage and released to the wide world. The photo of Oily Cisco was taken back in 2001 – prior to the Barton-Adler connection!

Find the photo on your own love-muffins. I REFUSE to lay my eyes on that hot ass mess of an atrocity again.