ACCESS DENIED! How often does Diddy get turned away from a party? Only when he’s not attending one of his own tacky, HOOLIGAN-INFESTED FIESTAS! Diddy may not have gotten into the Golden Globes after party at the Sunset Tower Hotel, but Helen Mirren walked her old ass right passed him. On a scale of 1-10, this is definitely a 57 on the Played Your Face scale!

Watch the travesty here!

Man in demand, Channing Tatum, and Outkast’s Andre Benjamin star in Battle in Seattle – a movie bringing to life the political and social turmoil when activists protest a meeting of the World Trade Organization.

The BEAUTIFULLY YUMMY Charlize Theron will also be starring in the film!

At least he’s been using CHINESE RACCOON DOGS and not your beloved chihuahua Tiny’s stray hairs to make that collar around your neck! Your boy Jay has been thrown in the same pot as Diddy for faking the FURRY FUNK! That shit you’re paying for is not the good stuff my friends. It’s so fresh, it’s still BARKING!

MTV’s new series, Maui Fever, is more along the lines of a Maui headache or a Maui migraine. How many different ways can you display crazy, slutty, burnt, horny, and unknowingly spoiled adolescents before you run out of ideas?

Apparently for MTV – there are INFINITE possibilities. Laguna bred the Hills which birthed Twenty Four Seven, which disappeared and was kidnapped to bring you Maui Fever. I’m over it. Doesn’t MTV stand for “Music Television”. With TRL on its way out the door due to lower than low ratings, can MTV stake any claims to being musically involved?

Survey says not.

Whitney better work her 43 year OLD VOODOO on that 25 yrs old WHINY CROONER! Would it shock the panties off of us if they were really hooking up??? HELL YEAH IT WOULD! Word on the street is they are doing more than dinner at Maestros. Let’s keep our fingers crossed this is not Hollywood’s newest couple!

Shiloh, Suri, and Jayden should move over on the celebrity jungle gym because the pretty woman herself, Julia Roberts, is expecting to have her own boyish bundle of joy in mid-June. With the crazy names she has already allowed the storks to pick for her kids (Hazel and Phinnaeus), I cannot WAIT until VH-1 releases “Craziest Celebrity Child names Part III” so that I can see whether Miss Roberts picked Ketch-up or Lamburger as her child’s next name!
Tune in everyone!